A few weeks ago, I wrote about niksen, a Dutch lifestyle trend that’s basically the art of doing nothing. Now, I’m familiar with hygge and lagom, but niksen seemed…fake. (I know it’s not, and I mean no offense to the lovely people of the Netherlands, but come on…) Inspired, I did a little more research and discovered the following Nordic lifestyle trends to justify all of my lazy/self-destructive/generally not productive behaviors.
(And yes, these are definitely, absolutely, 100 percent real and not made up by me using words I found on Ikea’s website.)
The Greenlandic art of skipping workout classes
Fifteen-dollar cancellation fee be damned, this one is for our friends in Greenland. Have you ever regretted a workout once you’ve actually dragged yourself to the gym? No, but there’s literally no way of knowing if today could be the first time that happens. Am I sure I want to cancel even though we’re within the 12-hour cancellation window? You know I am, ClassPass.
The Finnish art of taking people’s Netflix recommendations with no intention of straying from the same three shows you’ve been watching on a loop for five years
Oh, Chernobyl is revelatory? If I had a dollar for every time I politely nodded at a TV recommendation with full knowledge that I won’t act on it, I could afford a Hulu subscription—one without ads. I will listen attentively as you heap praise on Jodie Comer’s Villanelle and Meryl Streep’s Mary Louise, but internally, I’m replaying the scene in 30 Rock where Tracy Jordan lists all of the things he saw growing up in a bad neighborhood. A pack of wild dogs taking over and successfully running a Wendy’s? Shoot it straight into my veins.
The Icelandic art of making a New Year’s resolution knowing you won’t make it a year
Now, I know what you’re thinking: If you know you’re going to give up on your resolution within weeks of January 1, why make one in the first place? But where’s the fun in that? Because you know you’ll be abandoning these quickly, feel free to go big. “Lose ten pounds?” Nah, make it 500. “Stop buying coffee instead of making it at home?” Think again; you plan to save $2.2 million this year.
The Swedish art of not taking your makeup off before bed
Translated literally, nordviken means, “I know I will regret not doing my skin-care routine when I wake up with a brand-new zit on my chin, but life is about having no regrets.” This one’s about combining the give no f*cks attitude of a 24-year-old Glossier rep with the skin of a 16-year-old boy with a dairy intolerance. Balance, people.
The Danish art of drunk texting your ex
The days of waking up with crushing regret over texting the person who broke up with you because “The 1 train is just really far from my apartment” are long gone, my friend. Don’t just refrain from texting, take it one step further and flood their inbox with GIFs and half-baked rage haikus and links to really cool sneakers that are sold out in their size. Like the Swedes, the Danes are also notoriously anti-regret.
The Norwegian art of lying to your dentist about how often you floss
Everyone say, “Thank you, Norway.” Or maybe this custom was self-made. Who knows? Either way, it takes a real craftsman to achieve this one.