If you've ever found traditional horoscopes to be too woo-woo, cloyingly optimistic or plain old dumb, we have a Twitter account you need to follow: Sorrow-scopes.
The account, which has been around since August 2016 and has more than 80,000 followers, tweets "horoscopes" that are negative and vaguely apocalyptic—in a really funny way. Instead of telling you to spread your wings and take chances, it will tell you to stay inside and accept that everything is terrible.
According to Mashable, the account's creator, who uses the pseudonym Viktor Winetrout, started Sorrow-scopes after finding that he liked making astrology jokes on his personal account. "Early on, our scopes tended to be strange and macabre, but we quickly discovered that our followers really liked the scopes that insulted them," he said. "Now we try to do a mixture of dark stuff and ridicule."
Will we ever stop compulsively checking our horoscopes? Absolutely not, but we will be checking our Sorrow-scope from now on, if only for a good—if very dark—laugh.
