‘The Bachelorette’ Season 15, Episode 5 Recap: The Luke-Ness Monster
*Warning: Spoilers ahead*
It’s been more than a week since The Bachelorette aired on ABC. (Thanks a lot, NBA finals.) And now, the popular dating series picked up right where we left off, with Hannah Brown pulling aside Luke P. and Luke S. in an attempt to get to the bottom of their iconic feud.
Here’s what went down in season 15, episode five of The Bachelorette.
Luke P. vs. Luke S.
The episode opens on Brown sitting down with Luke P. and Luke S. Since she’s trying to remain neutral, she wants them to address each other—not her. So, Luke S. calls out Luke P. for basically being a pathological liar. When the conversation escalates to the point where Luke S. is shouting “You are a liar!” at the top of his lungs, Brown excuses herself, leaving the Lukes to hash it out.
After accusing one another of lying (again), Luke P. admits that he understands Luke’s frustration, considering he had no business talking about his intentions with Brown. Just then, Chris Harrison interrupts their conversation and reveals that it’s time for the rose ceremony. Dun dun dun.
Brown is seconds away from handing out the first rose when Luke S. asks to speak in private. He apologizes for “causing you any pain” and urges her to “keep her eyes open” before leaving the show.
When Brown returns to the group, she proceeds to hand out roses to everyone but John Paul Jones and Matteo.
In a conversation with producers, Brown addresses the elephant in the room, saying, “Luke P. is still here because my heart wants him to be here. My head doesn’t always want him to be here.” *Sigh*
Mike's One-on-One Date
The next day, Brown and her 12 remaining men head to Inverness, Scotland, where Mike lands the first one-on-one date. This time, the Bachelorette takes him to explore the area, and Mike looks like a kid in a candy store.
No, really. Not only does he smile, like, the entire time, but he also eats a “Black Death” sour candy like a total champ. (When in Scotland…)
“I love life right now,” Mike says. “It’s the perfect day to fall in love.”
At dinner, Brown goes through her usual small talk, asking him to pinpoint his favorite moment from the day (aka the candy store). Although Mike “isn’t one to open up” after such a short amount of time, he feels very strongly about Brown. In fact, he’s ready to get down on one knee in a few short weeks.
Brown returns the favor by giving him a rose.
The Group Date
Meanwhile, the other contestants are still pissed at Luke P. for not being “real” with Brown. In an attempt to make things right, several suitors—including Jed—make it their mission to expose Luke P.’s true colors.
“This is about not letting the Luke-ness monster slide into her heart and poison her,” Jed says.
Right on cue, the group date card arrives, and it’s addressed to Connor, Devin, Dustin, Dylan, Garrett, Grant, Jed, Kevin, Peter and Tyler.
When Brown takes them to a grassy field, she introduces them to a world-renowned battle reenactor, who gives them kilts before training them in a series of drills, dubbed “The Bachelorette Highland Games.”
“It’s not the size of your bagpipe, it’s how you play it,” Brown says.
The after-party is repetitive AF. Pretty much every contestant kisses Brown and then tells her that they see a bright future with her. Barf.
At the end of the night, Brown gives the rose to Jed, and no one is surprised.
Luke P.'s One-On-One Date
Luke P. meets up with Brown and immediately turns on the charm, dropping a line about how he’s been waiting to hold her hand while walking through a flower field. Um, OK?
When Luke P. asks if she’s on the same page, Brown reveals that she’s concerned that the other men feel so strongly about him. Luke tries to reassure her, saying the other contestants came at him in the heat of the moment.
Still, this brings up a major problem for Brown, since she wants to be with someone who’s a people person. When Brown realizes that there’s no emotion behind what he’s telling her, she walks away and confides in the producers, saying, “I don’t know what to do.”
Brown returns and tells Luke P. that she feels like she knows nothing about him. He apologizes for giving her nothing but rehearsed answers, but she still isn’t having it.
“I don’t know what I want. Let’s go look at this castle,” Brown says before continuing on their date.
Later that night, the tension is at an all-time high when the couple sits down for dinner. While Luke P. tries to dig himself out of a hole, he admits that he feels disadvantaged because everyone has been gunning for him since day one.
Brown fires right back, saying, “I don’t want to be married to someone who thinks it’s everybody else’s fault and can’t take ownership.”
In a surprising turn of events, she adds, “I can’t give you this rose.”
It’s about damn time. The Bachelorette returns to ABC next Monday, June 17, at 8 p.m.