We decided to rank all of the things you can order at Starbucks so we started trying all of the drinks, so we’re bouncing off the walls a little bit right now but that’s OK because we did it, and here are 41 things you can order at Starbucks ranked from worst to most delicious. Now excuse us because we need another latte and flat white and cappuccino and is it just us, or are the windows vibrating?
All the Things You Can Order at Starbucks, Ranked
So. Much. Caffeine.
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Published Mar 29, 2016
Worst
Anything Decaf
Not today, Satan.
Bagels
Worth the carbs? Probably not.
Zesty Chicken and Black Bean Salad Bowl
Get outta here.
Evolution Juice
Green things are overrated.
Meh
Oatmeal with Fresh Blueberries
Acceptable, but easily made at home for far less money.
Mango Carrot Smoothie
Just because things are the same color doesn’t mean they go together.
Frappuccino Cookie
Dry AF, but so damn cute.
Caramel Iced Coffee
Leave iced coffee alone!
Cheese Danish
Leave cheese to savory stuff!
White Chocolate Mocha
A touch too sugary for our tastes.
White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino
Same, but more milkshake-y.
Fine, We'll Finish It
Green Tea Frappuccino
Like a salad doused in ranch, you want it to be healthy but you know it’s not.
Cheese and Fruit Bistro Box
Don’t you wish you just packed a lunchable?
Iced Passion Tea Tango Lemonade
Points docked because the ice melts before you finishing order.
Skinny Vanilla Latte
Tastes good, unlike the judgmental glances of everyone else in line. (And the barista.)
Gluten-Free Marshmallow Dream Bar
Nice job working around that Rice Krispie Treat trademark.
Hot green tea
Antioxidants! (Groan…)
We're Listening
Red Eye
Got us through college.
Black Eye
Got us through grad school.
Iced Lemon Pound Cake
Tastes so processed, yet so so satisfying.
English Breakfast Tea
Fancy. Ordering in a British accent not required but highly recommended.
Toasted S’mores Tart
Turns your cubicle into a campfire.
Oprah Chai Latte
Ranked this high because we’re afraid she’ll see.
Solid
Cappuccino
Pro tip: Add a generous sprinkle of cinnamon.
Chocolate Croissants
Just make sure to get it warmed.
Blueberry Muffin
See above.
Chocolate Chip Cookie
Wait. Does literally anything loaded with butter and sugar taste good warmed?
Necessary
Mocha Frappuccino
Even better if you order it like this.
Coffee Cake
Buttery, crumbly, perfection.
Blonde Roast
A solid choice, but creepy and awkward when you order a tall.
Hot Chocolate
Classic.
Pike Place
The hot chocolate of coffees.
Yogurt and Granola Parfait
Fro-yo you can feel really good about. (But probably shouldn’t.)
Rant Food
Oh Hell Yes
Latte Macchiato
Where have you been all our lives?
Doppio
Tiiiiiny cupppppps.
Iced coffee
Unsweetened with coconut milk, please and thanks.
Spinach and Feta Breakfast Sandwich
What breakfast should taste like.
Iced Green Tea
Pictured in the dictionary under “refreshing”.
Omfg This Is Why We Live
Flat white
Trust us. It’s delightful.
Cake Pops
The holy grail of dessert on a stick.
Latte
Never not satisfying.
