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17 Funny Graduation Quotes for the Class of 2020

By Sarah Stiefvater

| Jun. 16, 2020

Graduation can be a weird time—especially this year. You’re moving onto a new chapter in your life that might be filled with uncertainty or stress. To combat those oh my god what is happening everything is changing ahhhh feelings, check out some of these funny graduation quotes to lighten the mood.

1. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” -Muhammad Ali

2. “You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.” -Andy Samberg

3. “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” -William Lyon Phelps

4. “Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.” -Ellen DeGeneres

5. “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” -Lin-Manuel Miranda

6. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.” -Ed Helms

7. “As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.” -Will Ferrell

8. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” -Theodore Roosevelt

9. “Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” -John Green

10. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” -Robert Orben

11. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” -Garry Trudeau

12. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” -Erma Bombeck

13. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” -Will Rogers

14. “Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.” -Stephen Colbert

15. “The road to success is always under construction.” -Lily Tomlin

16. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” -Mark Twain

17. “The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” -Jon Stewart

17 Funny Graduation Quotes for the Class of 2020

1. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” -Muhammad Ali

2. “You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.” -Andy Samberg

3. “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” -William Lyon Phelps

4. “Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.” -Ellen DeGeneres

5. “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” -Lin-Manuel Miranda

6. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.” -Ed Helms

7. “As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.” -Will Ferrell

8. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” -Theodore Roosevelt

9. “Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” -John Green

10. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” -Robert Orben

11. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” -Garry Trudeau

12. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” -Erma Bombeck

13. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” -Will Rogers

14. “Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.” -Stephen Colbert

15. “The road to success is always under construction.” -Lily Tomlin

16. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” -Mark Twain

17. “The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” -Jon Stewart

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17 Funny Graduation Quotes for the Class of 2020

1. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” -Muhammad Ali

2. “You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.” -Andy Samberg

3. “If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.” -William Lyon Phelps

4. “Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.” -Ellen DeGeneres

5. “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” -Lin-Manuel Miranda

6. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.” -Ed Helms

7. “As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.” -Will Ferrell

8. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” -Theodore Roosevelt

9. “Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.” -John Green

10. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” -Robert Orben

11. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” -Garry Trudeau

12. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” -Erma Bombeck

13. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” -Will Rogers

14. “Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.” -Stephen Colbert

15. “The road to success is always under construction.” -Lily Tomlin

16. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” -Mark Twain

17. “The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” -Jon Stewart

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