20 Signs You Should Really Live in NYC
Empire state of mind, guys
You’ve watched enough Seinfeld and Broad City to know that real New Yorkers “kvetch” over cronuts and never have enough closet space. But are you actually cut out to make it in Manhattan? Here, 20 signs that you should probably pack your bags and buy a one-way ticket to Port Authority, stat.
1. Roughly 75 percent of your clothing is black.
2. And the rest is either gray, white, metallic or leather. (Yes, it’s a neutral.)
3. You think brunch is the most important meal of the day.
4. But you’re totally un-phased when Rose Byrne is sitting at the table next to you.
5. Your favorite movie is either Manhattan, Ghostbusters or When Harry Met Sally.
6. You carry an oversized tote packed with every item you could possibly need in a 24-hour period. (Red Bull and tampon, anyone?)
7. You can eat any food standing up. Even pad Thai. With chopsticks.
8. You do your grocery shopping with sunglasses on and earbuds in.
9. Because of course you need to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack while picking out rutabaga.
10. Friends have called you “snarky,” “sarcastic” or “biting”--which you take as the highest compliment.
11. To that end, you’re distrustful of most people and things (but are secretly an idealist).
12. You love pizza, lo mein, pierogies, cheesecake, pastrami and falafel.
13. OK, fine, you just love food.
14. You think dinnertime is 10:30 p.m.
15. You think breakfast is a double shot of espresso.
16. You think 500 square feet of living space is totally reasonable.
17. And graffiti is art.
18. And driving is overrated.
19. You walk three times faster than everybody else on the sidewalk.
20. And you do it in heels.