Remember: No one magically knows you after one date; no one is perfect; and if it feels too good to be true, that’s probably the case. Be wary of early promises and declarations of intentions. The best prospects act on their feelings before they say it. If a relationship is going in the right direction, they wouldn’t shy away from the commitment talk, which makes a dreamscaper squirm. A person who’s really, truly into you also shows up for you, and not just when it’s fun and things are amaaaazing, but when you really need them—your car broke down, you’re sick, you’re dealing with a family crisis. And if a dreamscaper does happen to reel you in, remind yourself that you deserve better than a dream. You deserve something real.
Jenna Birch is a journalist and the author of The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love, a relationship-building guide for modern women, as well as a dating coach (accepting new clients for 2020). To ask her a question, which she may answer in a forthcoming PureWow column, email her at email@example.com.