As the Gen Z-ers Say, I've Entered “My Delulu Era”

My first taste of the delulu lifestyle started by saying yes to every event I was invited to and making each one the best event I had ever attended. I used to question why I was even invited to events or whether I was important enough to be there. Imposter syndrome often made me second guess myself, and I was quick to say no to invitations because I didn’t want to go to these events alone and feel out of place.

I began going to two, sometimes three events a week, and I even started taking classes that interested me like mozzarella making or salsa dancing. I began meeting many different people and stepping out of my comfort zone. Whether it was asking more questions or giving compliments to strangers, I stopped being afraid to geek out and just be myself around new people. In spaces I didn’t think I'd ever be in, I started to tell myself “Hey, I belong here, too.” 

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with confidence, but my new commitment to being more ‘delulu’ helped me shut down the negative self-talk and I started to embrace a more positive mindset. I began spending less time comparing myself to others and appreciating where my life is at the moment. Now, I wouldn’t say all my insecurities went away completely—I am human after all, but I definitely saw a shift.

For example, I decided to wear a bold smokey eye, which I haven’t done since attempting the look in high school. I paired it with a revealing bodysuit and an animal-print wrap skirt that screamed “look at me” during a New York Fashion Week event. Surrounded by women who looked like they stepped straight out of a magazine, I didn’t put myself down or go through the usual rabbit hole of asking why I didn’t wear this or didn’t look like that. Instead, I held my head high and spent the night having a good time. This experience pushed me to become more comfortable in my own skin. 

I’m a planner by nature, which is never going to change, but I’m also learning to let things happen and just allow myself to get excited for what might come next. I tend to feel anxious about whether I’ll ever find love or have kids or simply be happy. But being in my ‘delulu era’ gives me hope and has given me an excuse to act on my aspirations. It has helped me build more confidence and get comfortable with being present, while staying open to the future. 

It may seem like I’m putting on rose-tinted glasses and I’m pushing away any problems, but that’s far from the truth. Instead, being ‘delulu’ just gives me the push to not think so hard or worry all the time. It’s given me the permission to visualize what I want in life and actually try things out—whether they go my way or not. With a few months of my 20s left, I’m prepared to be unapologetically silly, more optimistic and maybe even a little delusional as I head into my 30s. (And if that includes thinking I could end up marrying Taylor Zakhar Perez, then let me be.)