“My husband’s mother is having a tough time financially and wants to move in with us. I love her. She’s great with the kids, and she’s always been supportive of her son and our marriage. But I cannot imagine feeling comfortable having her around 24/7, and I worry about what her moving in would do for our home life. Will my young children’s routines be disrupted? Will our rhythm as a family change? Will her stay at our home ever end? My husband thinks we should help her. What do we do?”
It’s natural to feel mixed emotions about this, especially if you are someone who resents change. Of course, you want to make your husband happy and help your mother-in-law get back on her feet. But you also have boundaries, an established family life with your children and a rhythm with your husband that you enjoy. So, as with most things, you need to compromise.
You should help. I know it might be uncomfortable, but it’s your husband’s mom. He loves her. She raised him, and she’s an integral part of his existence. Shutting her out completely would probably hurt your husband’s feelings in a big way. Instead, you should say yes to helping while still establishing details for the stay that are important to your well-being. Here’s what you should discuss with your husband and mother-in-law up front.
How long is she going to stay?