At its core, psychologists explain gaslighting as a communication technique in which someone causes you to question your own version of events. For example, you say, “Oh wow, the sky is red,” when you notice the sky is red. A gaslighter would respond with, “No, it’s not. You’re crazy.” This makes you question your own reality.
The phrase first hit the social and cultural zeitgeist via a mystery thriller called Gas Light, written by British playwright Patrick Hamilton in 1938. The play was brought to life on stage in 1940 and was well-received. In fact, it ran for nearly 1,300 performances. Soon after, in 1944, it was made into a film starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer, yet another credit to its popularity. The plot follows diabolical husband Gregory (Boyer) as he aims to drive his wife Paula (Bergman) slowly and steadily mad by making false accusations, calling up fabricated memories and denying previous statements.
Still, gaslighting in real life doesn’t always look like it does on screen. The ‘80s movie portrayals of it are notoriously cliché. (Come on, Sigourney Weaver’s character totally gaslighted Melanie Griffith’s in Working Girl.) Examples of gaslighting in our daily lives run the gamut from a colleague who says you’re misinterpreting another coworker’s behavior (a denial of your perspective on events) to a boss that promises you that today is the day she’s going to raise the subject of your career trajectory to the CEO (an action that leads you to believe progress is happening when in fact she’s placating you and never brings it up).