The easiest way to spot an out-of-towner is to look at how fast (or rather, how slowly) they’re walking. The second easiest way? If they utter any of these phrases. Here, 19 things that a savvy New Yorker would never say.

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1. “Let's grab dinner in Times Square!” Absolutely not.

2. “You can crash with me, I have a ton of space.” Note: As soon as you move to the city, your apartment will become a hotel. Meaning distant cousins, someone you sat next to in tenth-grade English and at least one ex will ask if they can crash on your couch. All. The. Time.

3. “Ooh, a subway car all to myself!” As any New Yorker knows, there’s a reason it’s empty. (And that reason usually involves urine.)

4. “It’s just so beautiful when it snows.” Yes, the salt really does wonders for our shoes.

5. “Fuhgeddabouit!” File this one under “I’m walking here!” Nobody from New York actually says either of these things.

6. “Avenue of the Americas.” We’ll meet you on Sixth and 14th, OK?

7. “We’ll drive, parking’s free!” Hahaha.

8. “Let’s take the blue line.” Fact: Only tourists refer to the subway lines by color.

9. “Please, take your time, I’m in no rush.” Time is money, people.

10. “I love the MTA.” Because the G train is so reliable.

11. “Let’s pick up a bottle of wine from the grocery store.” The “wine” at bodegas and grocery stores is…well, it’s not wine.

12. “Let’s get a piece of pizza.” That’s a slice to you.

13. “Hewsten Street.” It’s Houston. We blame Texas for the mispronunciation.

14. “Let’s pick up a couple of gallon jugs while we’re at the store.” What are you, superwoman? Also, where exactly do you plan on storing all that?

15. “Who’s in the mood for Olive Garden?” Nobody.

16. “Let’s stand on the escalator, no need to walk up.” Sure, and while we’re here, let’s stop in front of the subway map and stare at it for a while.

17. “Where’s the closest drug store?” Duane Reade: Call it by its name.

18. “Let’s go check out this party on Staten Island tonight.” Let’s not.

19. “[Other city] is just as great as New York.” NYC is the greatest city on earth, got it?

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