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If your spouse is a late October or early November baby, you already know you've married an intense and emotional person. Scorpios are known for having a lot of gravity—meaning they are quiet but powerful and can usually alter the energy in a room with little more than an eyebrow raise. As partners, they tend to be deeply committed, ride-or-die types with the biggest hearts. But earning and keeping their trust can be a challenge. Here are a few tips for how to deal with your scorpion.

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Be introverts together

Scorpios or Scorpio-dominant people are usually introverts, needing to recharge from the scattered energy of big parties. Even if you share a wide circle of friends, your relationship will benefit from a lot of alone time as a pair. Think of it as couple introversion. When Scorpios love, they go deep. So, if you’re looking for them, they’re probably off to the side of the room lost in conversation with someone special. If you’re that someone, they will want a lot more of that.

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Write a love letter every once in a while

Scorpios can be slow to put their trust in others, and even for their spouses, it’s a lifelong labor (of love!) to break down those walls. However, it is very worth it, because Scorpio loyalty, once won, is won forever. But it all requires a delicate touch, which is why putting your sincerest thoughts to the page—a physical relic they can hold onto and look back on—might just be the key to your Scorpio’s heart every so often. While they can be withholding, Scorpios do tend to be honest, and if you’re always honest in return, you will earn (and keep) their passionate devotion for life. Just remind them once in a while that they need to earn your trust, too.

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Go to bed angry

Scorpio moodiness is real, and there’s only one way to soothe the troubled scorpion when they are feeling a certain way: patience. They are masters of the defensive crouch, so if the two of you are in an argument, they will shut down if they feel provoked (take extra note, fire signs, before you pop off). The best way to get out of a contentious dynamic is to give them time to cool off. In fact, Go. To. Bed. While the steam leaves your Scorpio’s ears, you can think about the truth in their emotional response for the morning when you patiently explain your side. That gives them safe cover to empathize with you, allowing for you both to find common ground.

Kiki O'Keeffe is an astrology writer in Brooklyn, New York. You can sign up for her newsletter, I don't believe in astrology, or follow her Twitter @alexkiki.

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