Ah, pregnancy—such a beautiful, magical time. It’s when a person’s ankles swell to the size of melons and complete strangers feel the need to comment on a woman’s uterus. If you know a friend, family member or colleague who’s expecting (or heck, even just see someone pregnant in line at the grocery store), you may be tempted to say something. But please, before you open your mouth, take a look at this list of things you absolutely, most definitely, should not say.
16 Things You Should Never, Ever Say to a Pregnant Woman
1. “Were you trying?”
With your closest girlfriend, this question is fair game. With the random lady at the coffee shop? Um, no. (And if you happen to be expecting yourself and someone who is not your bestie asks you this question, the best way to respond is to go into graphic detail about your sex life—now who’s uncomfortable?)
2. “What are you, six months?”
Even if you’ve been pregnant yourself, remember that every pregnancy is different and that you are not a medical professional—do not attempt to guess how far along someone is.
3. “OMG, your boobs are going to get HUGE.”
She was already feeling super excited about her expanding body and your remark is just going to make her feel so much better.
4. “Are you allowed to have that?”
Whether it’s a round of antibiotics or a cup of coffee, rest assured that your pregnant friend has done all the research (and by that, we mean she’s read the books, checked the forums, consulted her doctor...all of it).
5. “Are you sure you’re allowed to eat that?”
Again—she’s spent approximately 100 hours Googling what she can and cannot eat, so there’s really no need to check in here.
6. “Are you having twins?”
Dear God, why would you ever ask a pregnant woman that?
7. “You’re definitely having a boy/girl.”
Another question you can file under “you are not a medical professional!”
8. “You’re definitely going to go into labor early/late.”
See note above.
9. “Can I touch your belly?” …And Then Going For It Without Waiting For An Answer.
Even if you buy into the idea that there’s some sort of social or evolutional explanation for why people are drawn to bulging bellies, being pregnant doesn’t make someone public property. Step away.
10. “You’re pregnant? I thought you’d just gained weight; I didn’t want to say anything.”
11. “Have some more, come on, you’re eating for two!”
Unless you’re the preggo’s grandma, it’s not OK to force-feed them. (And even then, it’s still kind of annoying.)
12. “Isn’t it hard to decorate the nursery and buy baby clothes when you don’t know the gender?”
Um, no? Get with the times, read a Tweet.
13. “Do you have a name picked out? How about [insert name here]?”
What the parents-to-be choose to name their child is really none of your business so unless they have specifically asked for suggestions, keep your trap shut. And if they do decide to share their chosen name with you, definitely do not interject with something along the lines of: “I knew a Teddy once! He was a real jerk in high school...”
14. “Enjoy it now because you won’t be able to [fill in the blank] when the baby comes.”
Look, there may be some truth to this one. But you really don’t have to remind the parent-to-be about how life will change post-baby—let them figure it out for themselves.
15. “You’re going to breastfeed, right?”
Wow, judgy much? Trust that the mama-to-be is going to make the best decision for her and her child... and she doesn’t need your two cents.
16. “How are you going to afford a baby?”
Unless you’re a mortgage lender, enquiring about someone’s personal finances is really rather rude. If you’re concerned about how much babies cost (and, yes, it’s a lot), ask the parent-to-be what they need or how you might be able to contribute.