The 7 Worst People at Target
Whose children are these?!
Target, we love you. You are the motherload of affordable amazingness. You are where we score everything from the bare necessities (Diet Coke and underwear on the same errand run) to completely unnecessary delights (where have you been all our lives, gold-porcupine-with-a-party-hat paperweight?). And it’s all good and great until you’re caught up with one of these seven people.
The Disinterested Dressing Room Attendant
We know the rules at Target: The attendant counts how many items you have, gives you a number and assigns you to a dressing room. But this kid is too busy playing Minecraft to unlock a room for us, and it’s cutting into our “Do-I-really-need-this-sleeveless-trench-coat-for work?” time.
The Overly Interested Dressing Room Attendant
Yes, we know the max number is six, but didn’t we have that unspoken agreement that if I hang everything up nicely, I can bring in whatever I want? This sleeveless trench coat might be kind of killer with that (shhhh…) maternity sundress we couldn’t pass up on the clearance rack.
The Extreme Couponer
Not only is she taking forever at the checkout line, but she has all the coupons you wish you had clipped yourself and is forcing you to question life. Is this NutriBullet extender set really worth it anymore? Have we just all been living a lie?
The Yappy Checkout Clerk
We would loooove to talk about what we’re doing this weekend while we purchase four boxes of super-heavy tampons…but maybe another time?
The Lady Who Got What You Wanted
There was one Marimekko for Target Teepee left, but some ninja master scooped it up right from under your nose. We still blame the dressing-room attendant for this ill-fated cosmic timing.
The Children of the Corn
Their parents have given them free rein of the store. They pop up behind racks of Isaac Mizrahi for Target blazers. They peek into your dressing room. They haunt all of Target.
The Lady Who Still Says “Tarjay”
Oops, that’s us.