29 Things Only Tall Women Understand
Yes, the weather’s the same “up here”
Being relegated to the very back of a group picture. Being wildly uncomfortable on a plane. Being poked in the eye by an umbrella. If you’ve experienced any of these symptoms, you might be a tall woman. Here are 26 other things we all need to get off our chests.
1. The fact that it's pure gut instinct that sends you to the back of group photos.
2. And that you still have to bend down to make it into the frame.
3. On that note: floating head syndrome.
4. The recurring question that is: "How tall are you?"
5. And the recurring thought as to what someone would possibly need that specific information for.
6. That awkward moment when you make eye contact with someone over a bathroom stall.
7. And then when you have to squat to wash your hands.
8. Or to see yourself in the mirror.
9. How quickly a hug can turn south the second a person’s face is smooshed into your boobs.
10. Airplane seats.
11. Disappointing people when you tell them that you didn’t play basketball or volleyball.
12. But then resenting them for telling you what a waste of height that was.
13. Cause valedictorian is only reserved for shorties with asthma...?
14. When you’re a bridesmaid and the bride asks you to wear flats so you’re not taller than the groomsman you’re walking with.
15. When the groomsman insists: “You’re definitely taller than 5’11,’’ because I’m 5’11.’’” (Sure you are.)
16. Or, when you do wear heels, people respond as if it were an act of bravery.
17. Not being able to hide in a crowd.
18. But being able to see over everyone’s head at concerts.
19. But also feeling so self-conscious that you’re blocking someone’s view.
20. Living in constant fear on rainy days of errant umbrellas.
21. The struggle that is conversing with a short person in a loud place.
22. The eye-roll that is a short person telling you to stop complaining about an annoying aspect of being tall. (You can’t bring jeans to the tailor to be lengthened, after all.)
23. Short showers.
24. Short beds.
25. Being asked, “How’s the weather up there?” (Spoiler alert: It’s the same.)
26. Knowing that every skirt is a miniskirt and every pant a capri.
27. Rarely finding sleeves that cover your wrists.
28. Or jumpsuits that don’t...well, we’ll let you interpret that one.
29. And finally: memories of middle-school dances.