We Asked a Relationship Expert to Analyze Jack and Rebecca Pearson’s Marriage—Here’s What She Said

Ruotola reveals, “Jack and Rebecca have not only set boundaries and learned forgiveness, but they also work through their problems together rather than one of them eclipsing or reducing the other.” 

Whether it’s dealing with Rebecca’s cancer scare or Jack’s alcoholism (“You are my husband and I am your wife, and if you have a problem we will fix it together”), the Pearsons confront life’s challenges as one. Teamwork makes the dream work, amirite?

Ruotola continues, “Jack and Rebecca Pearson are by no means perfect—both can be flawed and selfish.” (See: Rebecca’s anxiety attack at the cabin or Jack’s attitude toward Rebecca’s touring.) “However, they are perfect for each other in the life they’ve built together. Both have made sacrifices for the family, each giving up their personal dreams (hers to be a singer and his to start his Big Three construction company) for the benefit of what the kids or family need more urgently.”

Hey, that’s love.

“Jack is positioned as both a superhero husband and father as well as the one more prone to make grand romantic gestures, which would make Rebecca seem like the ‘lucky one,’” Ruotola says. 

Yep, remember when Rebecca gives Jack a journal of his drawings and he one-ups her by transforming the bowling alley into their own private dance floor? Or when Rebecca presents Jack with a hammer engraved with his name and he gives her a piano?

“But here’s where the realism of marriage dynamics is handled so deftly—Jack’s alcoholism and Rebecca’s willingness to not only demand more of him but to take it on becomes the great equalizer in showcasing her strength and devotion. Rebecca may not get to be the hero as often as Jack does, but they really are a wonderful representation of a mostly-realistic love story between two people in the beautifully messy glory of life that has connected so profoundly with our collective deeper aspirational selves.”

Ruotola says, “In the crafting of the marriage between Jack and Rebecca Pearson in This Is Us, I have to applaud the creators and writers for finally showcasing a deeply meaningful and realistic relationship. These characters fight for and defend each other as well as themselves, their children and their family unit.” 

So there you have it—the Pearson marriage may not be perfect, but it’s pretty damn close. 

Amiira Ruotola’s latest book, How to Keep Your Marriage from Sucking, is out now.