The 7 Most Annoying Yoga Instructors We’ve All Had
From the philosopher to the handsy adjuster
It’s happened to everyone--you’ve carved out an hour all to yourself, and then some new instructor announces she's subbing for your usual favorite. Then she proceeds to press your buttons as she keeps talking, preening or showing off. Here, seven of the worst offenders…which ones have you endured?
1. The Pretzel
We understand you’ve spent years honing your craft, and that you’re maybe even naturally double jointed. But after seeing you accordion yourself that way, our touching our palms to the floor while standing up--you know, which took us six months to achieve--doesn’t seem like such an accomplishment.
2. The Sexy Centerfold
We can’t decide which we like more, your motorcycle, your tattoos or your animal magnetism. You’re fun, but we can’t help giggling out of our tree pose whenever you look at us.
3. The Handsy Adjuster
We appreciate you sidling up next to us and aligning our triangle pose, and even the way you use your body weight to push our back down when we’re folded over to touch our knees. But maybe you could at least buy us dinner first?
4. The Philosopher
We are so, so happy you like to recite all those sutras and want to share how they have helped you with your life. But could you maybe, umm, pipe down and get moving already? We need to get our sweat on.
5. The Drill Sergeant
We respect the way you seem to see our physical and spiritual potential, but if we’d wanted to hear “pain is only a temporary state of being,” we’d have rolled into Barry’s Bootcamp instead.
6. The Show-Off
We’re pretty sure this pose is something called “peacock,” and while we can appreciate a sideshow as well as the next circus-goer, we’re in yoga class now. You know, one filled with regular people who just want to stretch a little.