When it comes to having a good time in the bedroom, there are a few key ingredients. Time, for one (look, life gets busy—there’s nothing wrong with penciling “sexy time” in your calendar). Some foreplay certainly doesn’t hurt. No distractions? A must. (A screaming kid is a definite mood killer.) But what about adding some accessories into the mix?
According to health and sexuality writer August McLaughlin, incorporating toys and accessories can be extremely empowering (and fun). But if the idea of handcuffs and blindfolds feels a little too 50 Shades for you, then don’t fret—McLaughlin’s number-one item is something you probably already have lying around the house.
In McLaughlin’s book, Girl Boner: The Good Girl’s Guide to Sexual Empowerment, she walks readers through various different accessories (including the pros and cons for each). She also encourages women to give themselves some self-care—both sexually and sensually (think: erotic stories and films or taking a bubble bath). But her most underrated sex item? Lube.
“Lube is spectacular. It minimizes friction, preventing potential discomfort, and adds sleek, slippery fun to so many sexual activities. In some cases, it’s darn near necessary—such as during anal sex,” she says.
And with so many different types to choose from, there’s something for everyone. Not sure where to begin? Go to a reputable store (like Pleasure Chest) and ask what employees recommend.
One thing to keep in mind when it comes to natural lubes like coconut or olive oil is that while they can feel great (and are easy to grab at the grocery store), they can also stain your bedsheets. Hey, the more you know.