“My husband has started to pee with the door open over the past six months and I’m starting to lose attraction to him as a result. He’s a good-looking guy and a good husband, but this is a huge turnoff and a sign he’s become way too comfortable in this relationship. I want him to be comfortable, of course. When I joke that he’s taken up this disturbing habit, he says, ‘Well, you’ve seen me naked for years, so what does it matter?’ How do I tell him this is an issue for me without hurting him?”
Last summer, the bathroom door in my Airbnb at the beach broke, and my boyfriend and I ended up having to use the restroom in front of each other for three days straight. Let’s just say that deflated the romance in a hurry. But I’m going to make a leap and say this: I don’t think it’s about your husband's peeing, per se.
Here, in your situation, it’s about what the peeing represents—allowing the romance to run out on your relationship. Peeing with the door open is a sign that your husband is very comfortable with you, which is great. But all this intimacy has stifled the lust in your relationship.
As Esther Perel so acutely points out in her book Mating in Captivity, “Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it.” It’s clear you and your husband have high levels of intimacy and love. Constantly using the bathroom in front of your partner has got to be the ultimate form of “knowing everything about you,” right?