The Secret to a Happy Marriage? Day Sex

It’s no secret that a healthy sex life leads to higher relationship satisfaction, but domesticity can be the enemy of passion in long-term relationships…so how do you keep things spicy once the honeymoon phase is over, you ask? Well, experts say the secret is to start having more daytime sex. Here's how a good mid-day romp can revive the romance in your relationship.

Dr. Sanam Hafeez is a pioneer in neuropsychological assessments, reshaping its clinical model and best practices. She sought to deliver answers to her patients and, in doing so, eliminated the rigid, one-size-fits-all approach. An expert in trauma, learning problems, ADHD and autism, she found that there was often an overlap and misdiagnosis because older models neglected the psychiatric components. Over the past two decades, she has brought together highly skilled professionals to deliver superior neuropsychological evaluations and literally change lives for patients.

There are numerous benefits to having daytime sex. For starters, it’s a lot more fun than folding that pile of laundry…and it turns out that it’s actually incredibly healthy for couples to choose to fool around a little midday instead of keeping their noses to the grindstone. “Choosing to be intimate during daylight hours is an act of intentionality, and that deliberateness itself strengthens emotional bonds. You're essentially telling your partner, ‘this is a priority, not an afterthought squeezed in before sleep,’” says Dr. Hafeez, adding that, “for parents specifically, stolen afternoon moments during nap time or a weekend morning carry a playful, almost transgressive quality—one that can renew the novelty-seeking dynamic that fades in long-term partnerships.” Indeed, research on relationship satisfaction consistently points towards perceived effort and prioritization as main drivers of emotional closeness.

“Daytime sex offers something that late-night intimacy rarely can: full presence.”

Dr. Sanam Hafeez

It’s also worth noting that most people simply have more energy for sex during the day. Sure, your schedule might look packed, but if you can make time for a lunch break then you can squeeze in a quickie, too, and it will likely be a lot more enjoyable than the before-bed sex you can only enjoy half-heartedly—you know, because the other half of your heart would really just rather be sleeping. Or, as Dr. Hafeez puts it, “daytime sex offers something that late-night intimacy rarely can: full presence.”

This full presence can significantly improve your experience between the sheets and your overall relationship quality—namely because “daytime sex tends to invite more eye contact, conversation and giggles, all of which deepen the kind of emotional intimacy that sustains relationships long after the initial chemistry settles.”

All of the above information had me wondering whether daytime sex brings bigger and better orgasms. Don’t get me wrong, the big O isn’t necessarily the end goal of sexual intimacy…but it’s definitely a perk, and it turns out that you are indeed more likely to get there during the day and the reasons are more physiological than you might expect:

“Testosterone levels, which drive desire in both men and women, are naturally higher in the morning and early afternoon, meaning arousal tends to come more easily and feel more intense during daylight hours,” explains Dr. Hafeez, adding that, “beyond hormones, daytime sex typically happens when we're less physically depleted, and that energy translates directly into heightened sensation and greater capacity for orgasm.”

There are also psychological factors that explain why daytime sex can yield more rewarding sexual experiences. When you have daytime sex, you’re briefly setting your to-do list aside to seek pleasure and emotional intimacy when you’re not half-asleep—and if you’re reading this, chances are that’s a novel idea to you. Per Dr. Hafeez. “the excitement of doing something new (which we know sends dopamine flooding through your brain), primes your brain to have an experience that will feel way more satisfying. Because let's remember: Your brain is your biggest sex organ, and priming it properly is key.”

The TL;DR? Daytime sex can bring the kind of romance and emotional connection that you need to get out of a relationship rut, and it’s likely to bring some toe-curling pleasure, too.