For whatever reason you’re back on the apps, be it a nasty breakup or a romantic whim. Maybe it’s been a while or maybe you’ve never set foot in this digital dating territory. You’re a stranger in a strange land. Dating apps might feel a bit dystopian at first, but with a few key tweaks here and there, swiping right (or left) over 40 can have its perks on the road to finding love—or whatever you’re looking for. Dating coach and breakup mentor Lindsay O’Brien specializes in helping her clients find relationships that work. Here’s what she tells us anyone over 40 should definitely include on their dating app profiles.
5 Things Anyone Over 40 Should Include in a Dating Profile, According to an Expert
1. If You Want a Relationship, Say So
“It’s easy to think playing it cool is the best way to find a partner but being clear about what you want is best. The dating pool over 40 is filled with casual daters, so save yourself time and heartbreak by weeding them out straight away and standing out to the relationship minded. A not-so serious way to say it is ‘looking for long-term love,’ or ‘I’m ready to settle down and build a life with someone.’”
2. Put Your Authentic Personality in the Spotlight
“If you love to laugh and are lighthearted, fill your profile with those emojis you always use in your texts. If you’re a homebody, don’t feel like you have to pretend to love hiking and travel. Say ‘on weekends you’ll find me watching the latest Netflix drama with the best Chinese takeout in town.’ The purpose of dating is not to appeal to everyone but instead to find a partner who fits you. When you let who you are show on your profile, you’ll find a better match.”
3. Include What You’re Looking for in a Partner
“Dating at 40-plus means you’ve likely got some relationship experience. You may be tempted to put on your profile all the things you don’t want (like your ex’s codependent parents), but that comes across as negative, and you’ll find most people swiping past you. Instead, turn those negatives into a positive. For example, if you want to avoid emotionally unavailable men, say you’re looking for ‘a deep conversation partner.’ Positivity is always more attractive.”
4. Get a Friend to Take Some Real Photos
“It’s OK to have a selfie or two on your profile but non-selfies have been shown to perform much better on dating apps. Stand out on the apps by having a friend take some photos of you doing activities you enjoy, whether that’s cooking a meal or walking your beloved cockapoo. This shows more of your personality and gives daters an idea of what it would be like to be with you. And always leave the filters at home. Showing yourself honestly starts a relationship off on the right foot.”
5. End with a Catchy Conversation Starter (One That Actually Interests You)
“You want to give daters an opening to message you. This could be a question like, ‘What’s your favorite spot in the city?’ or ‘Message me the last book you read,’ if reading is your thing. Put this at the end of your profile as an intriguing invite.”
Lindsay O’Brien is “The Real Love Alchemist,” a dating coach and breakup mentor specializing in helping her clients go from bad relationships to real love using subconscious healing modalities. Through her personal experience and energy work, she helps her clients break toxic relationship cycles and create their dream relationships.