Guess when the worst time to break up with someone is? I’ll tell you: Mere days before a global pandemic shuts down nearly every aspect of normal life, leaving you stuck at home to pine over the person you just ended things with.
In the first few days of quarantine, my mind was a ticker-tape repeating the same few questions: Was it the right decision? Should I have done that? Do I really miss him? There’s truly nothing like moving back into your childhood bedroom with nothing to do but bake bread, binge Netflix and drink wine that will cause you to second-guess ending a relationship that you were so sure was the right choice just a few days earlier.
Fast forward a few weeks of wallowing and I’d come to my decision: There was no chance of reconciliation. At that point, the guy in question had packed up his apartment and left town—one of many decisions that had led to our break up in the first place—and long distance just wasn’t in the cards for us. So, it was time to pour another glass of wine and log onto the dating apps. Yet again.
At first, it felt exhilarating to be back in the dating game. I started imagining a new, exciting future with the guy who would take me on a grand adventure, at least based on the way he was smiling in that hiking pic. And oh, what would life be like if I ended up with the mogul who lived in a massive modern loft? Or maybe he was just taking a selfie at his friend's super cool apartment. Either way, it was unclear when I’d get to go on an actual date with any of the handsome (and yeah, not-so-handsome) faces I was now swiping on.