I’m currently without a functioning ATM card. Six weeks ago, I forgot my PIN and locked myself out of my account. I haven’t not needed cash during this period. I’ve borrowed cash from my mom. I’ve been forced to Venmo friends while dining out. I even had to tell a guy on a second date that he’d need to front all the money for our trip to a local county fair. (Smooth.) I’ve gone to great lengths to avoid calling my bank to remedy the situation. Why? I’ve told myself it’s because I don’t have time (not true) and it’s not that inconvenient and I’ll get to it when I need to (very not true).
All this is to say that we love to make excuses for our problems, especially by way of blaming circumstances supposedly outside of our control. Case in point: dating in NYC. It’s practically a motto for single New Yorkers that this is “the worst city in the world for dating.” (To clarify, this usually refers to dating with the purpose of finding a serious relationship; those in the market for more casual interactions don’t seem to have too many complaints.) But if you peel back the layers a little, I find the stereotypes about dating in New York are less based on reality and are more reflective of our beliefs. Below, I examine four common claims people make and show how, if we dig a little deeper, these so-called truths are not what they seem.