Are You an Anticipator? Don’t Worry, It’s a Good Thing (Most of the Time)

Your husband is running late for work and you just know deep in your soul that he’s about to embark on a multi-minute search for his keys. That’s why you’ve gone ahead and saved the day by locating them for him and placing them next to his wallet by the door. (You know…where they should have been set in the first place.)

Time and sanity (his, not yours) saved. But whoa, how the heck did you have that level of forethought? You’re an anticipator, that’s how. In other words, you have a secret superpower that allows you to always be two (or ten) steps ahead when it comes to logistical things. Sexy, right? Here, the pros and cons of this life approach.

First, tell me more about anticipators. Think of it this way: An anticipator has the ability to foresee both positive and negative events and create a contingency plan. In most cases, this level of advance planning is one that benefits others—your spouse, your friends, your kid.

I need a couple of examples. Say, you’re a mom with a kid who always loses his shoes. When you go to the park, you’ve got an eagle eye on the feet—ready to pounce the second one drops to the ground. (Crisis averted.) Or maybe you have a friend who always runs late to dinner, so you give her a reservation time that’s a hair earlier on purpose. (Smart.)

But isn’t all that anticipation a lot of work? It is. Not only that, it can rob you of time (and joy) spent in the present. Sure, it saves you the agony of problem-solving after the fact, but a study published in the scientific journal Emotion explains: Expectations—or anticipating things—may only have brief consequences (found keys, never misplacing a shoe), but because people who are thinking about a future event tend to imagine the very moments in which such consequences are realized, they may overestimate the benefits—and underestimate the costs (the stress that goes along with always playing defense)—of anticipating the worst. Basically, being an anticipator may thwart time spent on a key retrieval or time wasted waiting for your friend, but if you’re in a constant state of worry thinking ahead so much, is it really worth it? Maybe. Maybe not.

An alternate approach. Ask yourself: What’s the worst thing that could happen if you don’t anticipate something? Or if you allow someone else to be the one who’s ten steps ahead? You might have to buy your kid a new pair of shoes (not great, but not the end of the world either) or endure your husband tearing the house apart in an attempt to locate his keys (perhaps a good lesson learned). But you can also relish a bit more in the life skill that results from rolling with things and taking life’s little bumps as they come.