4 Things Wedding Planners Really Wish You'd Stop Saying

what not to say to wedding planner cat

Along with buying a new home or prepping for your newborn, a wedding is, hands down, one of the most stressful things any couple can go through. You want to make sure your special day is everything you dreamt of, but you also need to manage your family’s expectations. And odds are, you’re doing all the planning while maintaining your full work schedule.Rather than trying to juggle everything yourself, hiring a wedding planner can be a great investment. But while they’re willing to play party-planning guru and pseudo-therapist at the same time, there are certain things clients say that drive them up the wall. (Hey, they're human.) Below, find out the four things wedding planners wish you’d stop saying.

 1. “Can we do it for less?”

Listen, we all love a great bargain. But if you want purple fireworks to go off at the exact moment that you and your partner kiss, then you have to be ready and willing to dole out some dough.

“I can guarantee that is the number-one thing that all planners wish they never had to hear again from their clients,” says Chelsea LaFollette, co-owner, planner and designer at Brilliant Event Planning. “Vendors work ridiculously hard on the products and services they offer. Asking them to discount their work is akin to telling them that you don't value it. If you want to pay less for something, you need to expect either the quantity or quality to be less as a result. Period.”

2. “What percent of the budget should I be spending on…?”

Your bestie managed to get her hands on a one-of-a-kind, utterly jaw-dropping Vivienne Westwood gown for her big day. Heck, maybe she even went for the bird-shaped hairpiece like Carrie Bradshaw. But that doesn’t mean you also have to pull out all the stops and spend half your budget on your wedding dress. Maybe it’s more important for you to have a great DJ, a make-your-own sundae bar or a specific type of plate setting. Plan your wedding how you want it. “Every wedding is different, and everyone has their own priorities,” says Marcy Blum, president, Marcy Blum Associates. “There really aren’t any graphs to follow.”

3. “My friend who got married last year said...”

Your friend insists your wedding won’t be complete without a chocolate fountain. And while you feel iffy about fondue (and the venue and planner insist it’s messy and more trouble than it’s worth), you keep waffling because you don’t want to let your best friend down. Planning a wedding is anxiety-inducing enough as it is, without having to cater to a laundry list of your mom’s, sister’s, grandma’s, aunt’s and third cousin’s wishes for your wedding. In other words, “Stop listening to the Greek chorus of opinions,” Blum urges.

 4. “Is the food really that important?”

That’s a resounding “Yes, it is!” from Blum. Of all the things you don’t want to penny-pinch on, food is right up there along with your wedding dress, cake and venue. Remember, you get what you pay for. 

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Resident Hufflepuff, Beyonce historian, self-proclaimed tea sommelier

Steph is a native of Zimbabwe who is both enamored and genuinely baffled by the concept of silent letters. From 2020 to 2022, she served as Associate Editor at PureWow covering...