Delightfully Weird and Useful Advice We’ve Gotten from Our Dads

weird dad advice hero

He’s a master of bad puns, World War II factoids and grilled cheese sandwiches. But when it comes to advice, dad takes it to a whole other level. Does that mean we always understand what he’s trying to say? Not at all. But he certainly has a way with words. Here, the most unusual, completely real and sometimes helpful advice we’ve received from our dads.

“When playing cards, always sit with your back to the wall.” – Bill, Texas 

“Don’t walk on ice with your hands in your pockets.” – Jay, Vermont

“Unless you’re OK with it being written on the front page of The New York Times, don't say it.” – Phillip, Colorado

“It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” – Francisco, Texas

“Don't be a wart on the pickle of progress.” – Frank, New Jersey

“You’re not really an adult until you can comfortably eat in a restaurant alone.” – Dan, Illinois

“If you want to dance, you have to pay the band.” – Chris, New Jersey

“Never pack luggage you can't lift or carry yourself.” – Stan, Connecticut

“When having a conversation with someone, wait three seconds after they stop talking before you start talking. For an added awesome awkward moment, wait seven seconds.” – Kevin, New Jersey

“Ketchup is not an acceptable substitution for pasta sauce. But maybe we should just try it.” – Michael, Washington

“It’s not a race. It’s a finish.” – Joe, New York

“If anyone ever tells you they think The Beatles are overrated, that is not a person you want to be friends with.” – Bob, Utah

“You can’t kick a dog towards you.” – Dan, England

“Learn your table manners so one day you can dine at the White House” – Alfred, North Carolina

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.” – Charles, Georgia 

“If you’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked, ask your mother.” – Pat, Arizona

Children’s Books with Dads as the Stars



Abby Hepworth is an RRCA-certified running coach who has worked in fashion for over 10 years. Want to know what shoes are in this season? She's got you. Need recommendations on...