9 Things Your Mother-in-Law Should Never Say to You

Donna said it in jest after a couple glasses of buttery Chardonnay, but you woke up the next morning still rattled. Why? Because it's not an OK thing to say! Ricky will always love her unconditionally and respect her, but now that he's started a new family unit, it's you who comes first. Sorry, Donna!

Excuse me, Karen, but is your last name Windsor or Kennedy? No? Then I think we can keep the socio-economic class designations at the door. But if MIL insists on pointing out her tax bracket, then please advise your spouse retort: “Neither of us married up or down. We married each other.”

This is not only a dig at you, but a dig at your family and where you come from. Whether you want to create a carbon copy of your childhood in your marriage or if you confided in your mother-in-law that you prefer her family's way of life, using this sensitive background as artillery is not just mean, it's cruel.

Your mother-in-law did, in fact, raise three children, one of whom you've married. But as their parent, you know what's best for your kids. Thanks, but no thanks: MIL, your unsolicited advice is not wanted here.

You can read between the lines—and now you understand why she's been forwarding you all those Keto and Whole30 recipes. This is hurtful and again, mean. But Maryann caring deeply about your appearance is more about her and her own idea of what makes a person happy. (And if she doesn't cut it out, feel free to filter her email address to spam.)

Ugh. She bit her tongue for so long and then the question just exploded off her lips at last Christmas. Subtle much? Look, Ingrid, this is a conversation that is between a couple. To fend off more versions of this question, here's how to respond: “It's a big decision, and when we're ready to include you in it, we will.”

If you are experiencing infertility or miscarriage or going through IVF, this type of question is a knife to the heart. You don't owe anyone an explanation about yours or your partner's reproductive health, but for self-preservation, it's important that you or your partner steps in and stops this line of questioning. We see a formal sit down in the future.

When Janette offered to step in for child care on Fridays, you took her up on it! But since she started helping out, she keeps prodding you about quitting your job—after all, that's what she did when she had your now-husband 35 years ago. Does she want you to stop working so she can stop babysitting? What exactly is she getting at? Janette's a hard one to crack, but you can shut her down by simply saying: “Please stop commenting about my work. It's sending mixed messages.”

Just...ew.