My partner and I both come from big families and have always talked about wanting children. But recently, she’s been doing the math for IUI treatments (and even IVF) and has decided she doesn’t think we can afford it. (For the record, I disagree.) A few months ago, we were talking about baby names. Now she’s dead set against kids at all and is trying to convince me how much more we could do in life if we stay child-free. I’m not willing to give this up. Will she change her mind?
I won’t mince words: The decision to have kids (or not) is an issue that ends a lot of relationships. That said, I think there’s something else going on here, and you don’t need to throw in the towel just yet. Let’s put this all into perspective.
Yes, romantic relationships are challenging at times, especially if you’re adjusting to becoming one half of a partnership. But becoming a parent is a dramatically different life stage. It may be rewarding, but it’s decidedly not about you anymore, as you shift to placing your child’s needs ahead of your own. There’s less time. And there’s definitely less money.
Some people experience sticker shock before there’s a baby in the picture. Others don’t realize the cost until that first daycare bill hits. But either way, no matter your financial standing, you’re gonna feel the crunch.