8 Motherhood Myths to Stop Believing, According to YouTubers Cat & Nat

You’ll sleep when the baby sleeps, they tell you. Not quite, say Cat & Nat, the YouTubing sensation and authors of Mom Truths: Embarrassing Stories and Brutally Honest Advice on the Extremely Real Struggle of Motherhood. If you haven’t caught their hot takes on everything from mom friends to mom shaming, you’re missing out. We asked them to debunk (and share solutions for) the most irritating parenting clichés in the book.

baby napping on mom

Myth 1: You’ll Sleep When The Baby Sleeps

Truth: “We don’t know who made this up. You never sleep because here’s the problem: Your baby is always on you and your brain never shuts down, so you’re constantly thinking about all the things that you need to do and all the things that you need to buy and when you’re going to eat and all this stuff. There’s no way, in the midst of that, that you can turn all that off and have a nap, let alone relax enough to stop checking every second that they’re breathing and alive when—again—they’re asleep on you.”

For more from Cat & Nat, listen to their recent appearance on our podcast, 'Mom Brain,' with Hilaria Baldwin and Daphne Oz.

husband watching tv

Myth 2: Sex Six Weeks After Baby? Sure!

Truth: “It’s something we’ll never understand: Why the doctor gives the A-OK at six weeks when your body is completely not ready for something to go in the place where something big just came out. Sure, there could be some random horny ladies out there who are counting down the days, but we’re not two of them. In our book, we list out a variety of ways to avoid having sex. We have all these hints for how to run out the clock so it gets too late. For example, Oprah says don’t put a TV in the room because it will ruin your sex life. Put a TV in the room! Watch shows together until he falls asleep. Last resort: Fake a yeast infection. He won’t touch that one.”

mom with son

Myth 3: Mom Guilt Lets Up Eventually

Truth: “Nope. You just learn to manage it differently. When you have a newborn, you’re in the thick of it and constantly comparing, but that never ends. They become teenagers and then you start to feel guilty about all the things you didn’t do when they were a baby. Or the way you punished them. Or talked to them. It’s a forever thing. The only solution is that you eventually grow into the role. Mom guilt isn’t a manageable thing. It’s more about reaching an understanding that you can’t always be with your kids and that’s OK. Instead, just try and be in the moment—and if you can’t be there today or you weren’t at your best, don’t beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow’s a new day. Working moms have mom guilt. Stay at home moms have mom guilt. You know who doesn’t have guilt? Dads! You gotta stop overthinking.”

kid laundry outside

Myth 4: The Laundry Lets Up Eventually

Truth: “Every mom thinks: You’re going to set up buckets by the door and whip up delicious fridge snacks and everything is going to get hyper organized. No! Laundry is a special case. You start off having to change onesies all the time. Then, it becomes managing children who feel like every time they put on an article of clothing—even for 5 minutes—it’s dirty and they put it in the laundry. Then, stuff that actually is dirty—as in, filthy—they wear over and over again. Eventually, you just learn to pick the laundry out of the basket and assess what’s really clean versus what needs to be washed. Worst case, you can always turn things inside-out.”

spanx in store
Roman Tiraspolsky/Getty Images

Myth 5: There’s Always Spanx

Truth: “You have to learn to be OK with the new you. Spanx is an option, but if it’s hot outside, no can do. Although someone did tell us: ‘Wear the Spanx! It absorbs the sweat.’ So we don’t know.”

mom friends

Myth 6: Finding Like-minded Mom Friends Is Impossible

Truth: “Not at all. There are so many different kinds of moms and, once you become one, it helps to meet people who have kids the same age as yours. Or at least someone who can support you in the age and stage you’re in. Think of it like Googling to find the information you want to read. You’ll find 17 answers and then you’ll find the one that’s right for you. There’s not necessarily one that’s right, just right for you.”


Myth 7: Parenting Is Easier With Wine

Truth: “Wine is a metaphor for taking a break for yourself. Maybe it’s a bath. Maybe it’s a delicious chocolate bar. It’s about finding a moment—even a few minutes—where you can self-care. But the thing about wine is that kids can’t drink it. It’s yours—and only yours. It’s really the only thing you can truly say no to.”

For more from Cat & Nat, listen to their recent appearance on our podcast, 'Mom Brain,' with Hilaria Baldwin and Daphne Oz.

mom helping kid

Myth 8: We’re All Bad Moms

Truth: “Enough with the mom shaming! The tough part is that moms tend to be the worst shamers of themselves and we perpetuate the narrative: ‘I did this, I’m a bad mom.’ We look for validation from other moms (‘No, you’re not!’) and we stop thinking we’re good moms. Self-deprecation has become trendy and we need to own that you can be a good mom and still go out on weekends and have a glass of wine and go to work and travel. Time does not equal motherhood. Your kids hear that message and it’s not a good one to send.”

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Royal family expert, a cappella alum, mom

Rachel Bowie is Senior Director of Special Projects & Royals at PureWow, where she covers parenting, fashion, wellness and money in addition to overseeing initiatives within...