Why Pretending There's a ‘Hot Mic’ in the Room Could Help Improve Your Marriage

couple arguing cat

Communication: It’s the foundation that lays the groundwork for a healthy relationship. But blame the rush, rush nature of our lives and it’s easy for all sense of decency and kindness to go out the window. (We’re not proud of this, of course!)

That’s why we love this helpful strategy from two New York City-based matrimonial and family law attorneys Kelly Frawley and Emily Pollock, both partners at Kasowitz Benson Torres LLP, for keeping the lines of communication open: Talk as though you’re being recorded.

It may sound crazy, but we live in an iPhone world—and that voice memo feature is there for a reason, say Frawley and Pollock. Their (slightly paranoid) advice: Conversations with your partner could be recorded at any time—something all divorce attorneys remind their clients who are mid-case. Still, they think that even happily married couples should behave as though there’s a hot mic in the room, in order to adjust their communication style so that it’s more respectful. “Speak with a level head and don’t raise your voice or make threats,” Pollock says. Taking those simple steps can minimize meanness and maximize civility.

TBH, it’s a pretty smart idea—and one we’re definitely going to test out during our next squabble. (Which may or may not be about who left their towel on the bathroom floor.)

Rachel Bowie Headshot

Royal family expert, a cappella alum, mom

Rachel Bowie is Senior Director of Special Projects & Royals at PureWow, where she covers parenting, fashion, wellness and money in addition to overseeing initiatives within...