Here’s Exactly What Will Happen If You Try CrossFit
Meet you at the box for the WOD, OK?
You’ve probably heard of CrossFit, the intense fitness program that some people have likened to a (really in-shape) cult. Maybe you’ve even tried it. If you haven’t, though, here are a few things to expect.
1. You’ll be sore--no matter what.
Look, we considered ourselves to be in excellent shape before we started CrossFit, but it turns out we were not in CrossFit shape, which is different. As opposed to a traditional boot-camp class, in which you’re moving constantly for 50 minutes, the meat of the CrossFit workout usually lasts only 10 to 15 minutes. And you’re going all out, working at 100 percent effort. You’re using muscles you never knew you had at an intensity you’ve probably never worked at so, yes, you’ll probably be sore after your first few classes, no matter how fit you are.
2. You’ll feel like a real badass.
A super strong badass. There’s something about hoisting a barbell over your head (no matter how much weight is added on, if any) that makes you feel like Superwoman. It’s also really rewarding to track your progress by upping your weights over time.
3. You’ll find bumps and bruises all over.
Real talk: You’re going to get beaten up. Your palms will be covered in nasty blisters, and you’ll find bruises on your thighs and collarbone, thanks to heavy barbell exercises. It’s OK, though: They make you look really tough, but they don’t hurt (that much) and are typically totally fine from a medical standpoint. (Obviously consult a doctor if you think something is seriously wrong.)
4. You won’t be able to stare at yourself.
If you’re like us, you’ve found yourself innocently checking yourself out mid-spin class. Not possible at a CrossFit box (that’s what they call their gyms), where there are almost never mirrors. The idea is that if you’ve been trained properly, your body will know your form is on point by feel, not by sight. It’s admittedly kind of weird at first, but once you’re knee-deep in a set of back squats, the last thing you’re thinking about it how your ponytail looks.
5. You’ll have to learn a new vocabulary.
Is this a workout or an English class? It’s a little bit of both, weirdly. Within the first few weeks of starting CrossFit, you’ll learn a bunch of terminology, from WOD (the workout of the day) and AMRAP (as many rounds/reps as possible) to EMOM (every minute on the minute). Also keep in mind that your friends and family probably don’t know said terminology, making it fairly confusing when you start bringing up cleans, jerks and snatches in casual conversation.
6. You’ll feel really good when you leave.
Everyone’s really supportive. Like, really, really supportive. CrossFit boxes pride themselves on their team-like environments, meaning everyone is rooting for everyone, because you’re all struggling through the same workout. The workouts are totally scalable (meaning there are modifications on each movement for all fitness levels), so you could be in a class with an absurd college athlete on your left and a 65-year-old on your right. As corny as it sounds, it feels really good to know that the people around you want you to do and be your best.