25 Things That Are Only Normal to Miamians
As a Miamian, your definition of normal is definitely not, well, normal. These 25 things prove why this city is simultaneously the best and weirdest place in the world.
1. Oh, hi there. (Psst: We don’t shake. We always say hello with a kiss on the cheek.)
2. Wanna do brunch at 10 a.m.? See you at 10:45.
3. But at 3:05 p.m., everything stops. It’s cafecito time (aka Miami’s official coffee break).
4. It’s dropping below 70°F? We’re pulling out the Uggs.
5. And the scarves, gloves, winter hats and puffy down coats, of course.
6. Sweater weather? We go bathing-suit shopping in December.
7. Which means falling in love with an air conditioner is not beyond our realm.
8. Some places have snow days; we have hurricane days.
9. Riding a Jet Ski isn’t an adventure sport—it’s just how you swim.
10. We got our boater's license before our driver's license. Sweet 14!
11. Turn signals are meant to be seen, not used.
12. Hold on. Cars are supposed to stop for pedestrians? Huh.
13. But we always brake for alligators.
14. And if one’s in your backyard, you know to run in a zigzag.
15. South Beach Diet...until we come face-to-face with a Knaus Berry Farm cinnamon bun.
16. Or a Cubano at Versailles.
17. There are limes. And then there are key limes. Totally different.
18. And don’t even get us started on oranges.
19. We complain about how expensive everything is and then drop $16 on a Fontainebleau strawberry mojito like it’s nothing.
20. We've got friends in high places. No, really—all of our friends live in condos.
21. The sun might set, but it’s still insanely hot outside. Shorts in a club? Totally acceptable.
22. So are sandals. Everywhere.
23. And hiding your phone under a towel is just basic AppleCare.
24. Pitbull and Flo Rida are national treasures.
25. Our brains know that Tallahassee is the capital, but our hearts (and Will Smith) know Miami is where it’s at.