11 Funny Relationship Quotes That Totally Get It

1. “Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon called 50 Shades of Just OK.” —Conan O’Brien

2. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” —Erma Bombeck

3. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally

4. “A man's main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.” —Dax Shepard

5. “My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” —Rodney Dangerfield

6. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell

7. “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” —Agatha Christie

8. “In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf.” —Ruth Bader Ginsburg

9. “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward.” —Benjamin Franklin

10. “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” —Mae West

11. “I didn’t date much. I moved in with people. Like, hello, I live here now. This is how John ended up in this situation.” —Chrissy Teigen on her marriage to John Legend