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Summer reading was kind of the worst when it was required, but nowadays we just want someone to tell us what articles are worth our time. No clicking through reviews or fielding unsolicited recos--just a set list of stuff we’ll actually like. Well, rejoice, dear reader, because we’ve done the legwork (brainwork?) for you and put together a list of nine of this month’s best short reads. No book report necessary.

If You Hate Lettuce...

Read a weirdly intriguing history of the rise and fall of Jell-O salad. (Serious Eats)

If You Hate Stereotypes...

Read about the rough-and-tumble maple syrup rebels who are clashing with the Canadian government, eh? (The New York Times)

If You’re Into Real Estate (or Ghosts)...

Read about what it’s like to live in--and try to sell--a house that everyone thinks is cursed. (The Atavist)

If You’re a Night Owl...

Read about Stephen Colbert’s upcoming debut as host of The Late Show. (GQ)

If 90 Percent of Your Instagram Feed is Artfully Styled Brunch Shots...

Read about millennials’ obsession with food and being “foodies." (The Atlantic)

If You’ve Ever Tried to Get Out of Jury Duty...

Read about the fascinating world of America’s preeminent court reporters. (Vice)

If Your Emails Sound Way Funnier in Your Head...

Read about the quest to design a computer program that recognizes sarcasm online. (The Washington Post)

If You Live and Die By Your Fitness Tracker...

Read about the ways in which big data is being used to analyze and improve romantic relationships. (Highline)

If You Have a Medicine Cabinet Full of Anti-Wrinkle Creams...

Read about a scientist who thinks he can reverse the effects of aging by putting young blood into old people. (The Guardian)

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