Season’s greetings, friends and family!
It’s the time of year when I reach out to people I care about, reconnect and fill you in on some major life events. Yep, Kevin and I finally tied the knot. But besides that, there’s something else quite exciting I want to share with you: I’m doing Whole30!
Last year you might’ve heard me mumble about going Keto, and the year before that, Paleo. And sure, I dabbled in juice cleansing for all of 2009, but this is totally different. Eliminating grains, sugar, legumes (did you know that peanuts are legumes?!), dairy, soy and alcohol from my diet has brought a new clarity to my mind and body. So if you run into someone who looks like a healthier, well-rested and far more enlightened version of me, guess what? It is me!
I’ve never felt better. By sticking to a diet of mostly cauliflower, collagen powder and ground beef, my adult cystic acne disappeared overnight, I no longer need a prescription-strength deodorant to combat body odor and my recurring nightmare about a passive-aggressive flight attendant has gone AWOL. Now I’m so in control of my mind and body that I’ve been choosing to have lucid dreams where I chase a giant legume with a steak knife!
Because of my new path in life, I’ll be peacefully opting out of our traditional Christmas dinner meal—yes, that includes Grandma’s maple-glazed ham, Aunt Rose’s pumpkin-pecan pie and Creepy Terry’s secret-recipe eggnog. (Stop being so creepy, Terry!) But, fret not, I’ll be stuffed to the brim with one of my absolute favorite dishes, which I’m bringing for all of you to sample: cauliflower, collagen powder and ground beef! And because this time of year is all about indulgence, I’ll top it off with a generous sprinkling of my “famous” homemade nutritional yeast, coconut aminos and dehydrated ghee seasoning. Do I hear stomachs grumbling? Oh wait, it’s my own gastric acids begging for mercy :).
As for how you can help me on my journey? Please, please, please—do not worry about little old me! Just do your thing and keep on eating all of those super-processed, blood sugar-disrupting, gut-damaging goodies. (Looking at you, Terry!) That said, Grandma, if there’s any way you could swap the maple glaze for a super-simple date puree (I’m begging you not to purchase pre-pitted ones!) and the ham for a gorgeous head of cauliflower, it would be ah-mazing. But seriously only if it’s no trouble.
Well, I have so much more to catch you up on, but looks like I have to take care of a nasty full-body hive situation. (I think there was a rogue chickpea in my salad—also a legume, go figure—and it seems that Kevin’s “working late” again ha ha ha.) I look forward to seeing you all at Christmas and discussing my super-exciting New Year’s resolution: to eat with my menstrual cycle.
Dee Dee (I go by that now)