27 Things You Understand Only If You Sweat Constantly
Thank God for Starbucks napkins
Would you rather go naked than wear light gray? Does your mascara often end up somewhere near your chin? Do people always ask if you’re just coming from a workout? If yes, you’re probably a pretty prolific sweater. It’s fine--we are, too. Come, commiserate with us over these 27 common #SweatyGirlProblems.
1. When you think about how much you’re sweating, you sweat that much more.
2. Your closet is basically just all black.
3. Because, LOL, heather gray.
4. April to October = hell.
5. "Nope, I didn't just work out.”
6. But even when you do work out, people think you’re having a way harder time than you are.
7. You’ve just learned to smile and blink off the water dripping in your eyes.
8. The first thing you say in any new conversation is something about how much you’re sweating so someone else doesn’t bring it up first.
9. You always have extra hair ties.
10. And have begrudgingly accepted the slicked-back bun look from here until eternity.
11. And the no-makeup look. (Not by choice, but because anything remotely colorful is likely to end up somewhere near your ear at some point in the day.)
12. You have a sixth sense for finding sources of blowing air in public.
13. And you don’t care if those sources of blowing air are vaguely disgusting. (Just leave us alone in this corner of the bus, OK?!)
14. You’re almost cripplingly paranoid of smelling bad.
15. So you overcompensate by applying deodorant anywhere from two to twelve times a day.
16. And you’ve become a pro at stealthily checking for pit stains.
17. You preemptively apologize when anyone goes in for a hug.
18. And a handshake will never not make you a nervous wreck.
19. You never leave Starbucks without three handfuls of extra napkins.
20. You always arrive to events early just to make sure you’re presentably cool before seeing anyone.
21. Two words: Boob sweat.
22. Five words: “Ugh, I’m like always cold.” WE GET IT: YOU’RE DELICATE.
23. But really, their problem could easily be solved by layering.
24. But it’s not like you can walk around naked all day.
25. So how is that even fair?
26. But on the plus side, you’ve wordlessly formed a sweaty little sisterhood with your fellow heat-averse gals.
27. And on top of that, your skin always looks dewy.