If you’re in your 30s, single and busy with a career, perfecting your flying pigeon pose and sleeping more than five hours a night, you don’t necessarily have all the time in the world to swipe right. So we talked to a girlfriend of ours—she’s a 35-year-old entertainment professional at a top firm in Los Angeles—about her experience contracting out her love life to a matchmaker. Here’s what she said:
Why’d you get fed up with dating apps?
I’d read somewhere that the average woman on Tinder spends about 90 minutes a day yet swipes right (you know, “likes”) only 14 percent of the time. And that’s only one app. You have to sign up on a couple sites, fill out each questionnaire, post photos and then, heaven help me, exchange online banter before the actual dates. So dating became a part-time job on top of my high-pressure full-time job; it left me feeling sort of like the 35-year-old who forgot to have a life.
How’d you find your matchmaker?
I called a friend who told me she’d had a fun date thanks to Three Day Rule, a matchmaking service. It sounds like Fiddler on the Roof or The Millionaire Matchmaker, but the woman I met was really more of a therapist-meets-human resources manager…in Jimmy Choos.
What was the process like?
A day after I contacted them online, I met Talia Goldstein, who founded the company in 2013. Over coffee, she explained that her job was to pre-screen guys for me who met my qualifications, then show me their photos and see if I’d agree to go on a date with them. The guys were shown my photo, too—if I wanted, she’d set up a professional photo shoot for me with hair and makeup. Marketing!
So, what are you looking for in a date?
I wanted someone my age, or a little older, who wanted to get married and have a family—who wouldn’t be intimidated by a woman who is high-energy and opinionated. Oh, and someone in my business, so they’d understand the pressure.
Tell us about your first date.
He was nice—I appreciated how he picked out a new restaurant and was chatty. But he seemed super edgy and talked about himself a lot and we had no chemistry.
But the best part was the debriefing. Me and my matchmaker talked in detail about my date, what I thought of him, how I thought he looked and how he behaved. And then she read me some notes he’d given her about me (that’s the therapeutic part).
Can we ask what type of feedback you got?
My matchmaker told me he’d thought I seemed too hyper and talked too much about my job. Oof, I was a little embarrassed. But, hey, at least now I knew.
So a couple more dates happened and then what?
I didn’t click with my second date. But then my matchmaker suggested someone who wasn’t in my industry but runs his own business, so he feels similarly passionate about his career. We made a quick coffee date to meet each other before I left for a trip. There were no immediate lightning bolts, but he made me laugh and I felt at ease with him. Then we went on a second date when I got home…and we’ve been together for six months since.
Whoa, so the process actually worked. Would you recommend to others?
I would have never met my boyfriend if it hadn’t been for a matchmaker. So yeah, I definitely recommend it. It also changed my outlook on dating. I’m cautiously optimistic now—which is way better than the horror-face emoji that I was before I found my matchmaker.
Gotta ask: How much does it cost?
It’s $4,500 for three months of matching. I know it sounds steep, and I’m not made of money at all, but if you think of all the time you’d have to put into dating without actually finding your person, it’s a good value.