1. Re-create Your Favorite Dates at Home
The go-to advice for keeping your relationship healthy? Make date nights a regular thing again. “Many couples change the dynamics of their relationship once they get married,” says Jones. “The things they did when dating, they no longer do, because subconsciously they feel that effort is no longer needed.” But this couldn’t be further from the truth, he argues. While some things in life may change after marriage, the way you interact with your partner shouldn’t.
But when going to the movies or out to dinner is off the table, you have to get creative. “Think of your favorite past dates and re-create them,” advises dating expert Maria Sullivan, vice president of Dating.com. No, you don’t have to go back to the exact same college bar where you met but what about whipping up some special cocktails at home? Or give your usual Friday night takeout and Netflix ritual a serious upgrade by putting the screens away, lighting some candles and playing Italian music to remind you of that cheesy restaurant where you first met. “Not only will you get major brownie points for the romance, but you’ll also automatically ignite the flames you felt during that original date,” says Sullivan.
2. TRY ROLE PLAY
Look, everyone has fantasies (which is a good thing, because the day-to-day can be really stressful or, you know, boring). And a little role play is a great way to escape the routine. Sit down with your partner and brainstorm some ideas (plus talk about boundaries). Then the fun can begin. “Role play shouldn’t just start in the bedroom,” says Jones. “Make an entire production out of it by doing things that you and your partner normally wouldn’t do.” Think getting dressed up and texting each other naughty messages beforehand. “Not only will you (hopefully) have great sex at the end of the day, but you may also discover some things that you both like that neither of you would have tried doing otherwise.”
3. SCHEDULE IT IN
Adding “sexy time” to your Google calendar for 9:30 p.m. might not scream romance, but when you have a bajillion things on your to-do list every day, it’s kind of a necessity. “This will help ensure that sex stays a priority and over time will have you looking forward to and getting excited by your scheduled sexy time,” says clinical psychologist Britney Blair, Psy.D., cofounder of Lover. (Just make sure you add it to your personal calendar and not your work one.)