“My husband and I moved to Florida for my job about six months ago, and we’ve recently noticed we don’t have any couple friends. In fact, we don’t have a lot of friends period! We’ve got our routines, and try plenty of new restaurants and activities in our ’hood. But since we moved, we simply haven’t been motivated to reach out to potential friends. Should I be concerned? Where should I even start? I’m honestly perfectly content to hang out with my spouse a lot, but I’m also worried about my life being all about him, and vice versa.”
I wouldn’t worry that you don’t have friends in your current city yet. You’ve been acclimating to a big move, and that can be intimidating. And the fact that you’re content with your life right now is great—and a testament to the strength of your marriage. But I’m also a believer that one person cannot complete you, so I think it’s smart that you want to expand.
After all, when we rely too much on a spouse to fill every role in our lives—partner, lover, best friend, caretaker, counselor—we’re setting him or her up to let us down. Like, maybe your husband is terrific in just about every capacity, but downright disinterested in seeing movies with you. Rather than begrudging him for not wanting to take you to Downton Abbey, isn’t it better to have a friend who wants to go?
Don’t know how to start making friends? That’s extremely common. But know that it is doable. Here are a few suggestions you can start employing right away.