You’re meeting your bestie for brunch and after catching up about your weekend and placing your order for eggs, she asks you about your spouse. How’s Jeff doing these days? Do you a) tell her about his new promotion at work, b) complain about his long hours or c) recount this morning’s argument where he forgot to put his dishes away yet again?
This, friends, is the brag test. Coined by Nate Klemp, Ph.D. and Kaley Klemp, co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship, the couple says that you can use this simple test to quickly and effectively assess the health of your marriage.
“When you're talking about your partner in front of other people—friends, work colleagues, or family members—do you most often complain, criticize, or insult them or do you mostly brag about them, praising their accomplishments, best qualities, and strengths?” they write in Psychology Today.
If you mostly wax lyrical about your partner in front of others, then kudos—you’re passing the brag test with flying colors. If, on the other hand, you often criticize, complain or insult your partner when talking about them to other people, “that’s a pretty good sign that you may be sitting on a time bomb of uncleared issues, disappointments, and resentment,” say the authors.