The Best Vibrator for Your Zodiac Sign

If a self-actualized Cancer owns anything, it should be a waterproof vibrator. The crab loves to have sex in water—whether it be a bath, a shower or in the rain. They’re also extremely sensitive, which is why the Ballerina, which uses a “human touch texture,” is an optimal fit for the sign who revels in the cozy and familiar.

The twin personalities of Gemini will relish in the dual function of this Kiki de Montparnasse silicone vibrator. Maybe some nights you'll prefer the larger, curved end and low-frequency vibrations and other nights you opt for the slimmer end that warms up (literally) while you warm up (also literally?). Just like Gemini, two heads are better than one.

From the folks at Smile Makers, this little invention was “inspired by la langue d'amour,” which is apparently code for oral sex. (Semantics aside, no one knows la langue d'amour better than a Taurus who prefers to call sex “love making.”) You could use this quiet little Frenchman on your own or enjoy that added intimacy with a partner—and what’s more Taurus than that?

When the impulsive, action-oriented ram wants something, they want it now! This two-in-one vibrator delivers what a fiery Aries wants: satisfaction. With 20 intensity settings—that’s right, there's 20 of them—and air-pulse clitoral stimulation, it gets the job done every time. Plus, you can use the other end as a traditional vibrator.

Scorpios have the most intense sex drive of any sign in the zodiac. But if you’ve ever met a Scorpio, you know that just like most of her secrets, this isn’t something she’d wear proudly on her sleeve. Instead, she’d don it clandestinely around her neck so she could be ready to unleash her wild side on a whim. Also, just like the scorpion, this little guy is small but mighty and features four speeds and two modes (pulsing and constant, just like a Scorpio’s wrath).

What do Libras and surfers have in common? They just want things to be chill. And with this happy little toy from Smile Makers, Libras can get themselves to hang ten without too many complications. As one reviewer wrote, “Great for beginners, super inconspicuous and just, wow.” When the scales are in balance, Libra is content.

When Virgo is on the quest to the find the ideal vibrator, they’ll do their due diligence. And they’ll probably wind up with something like this model, which was deemed “Best-in-Show by The Strategist.” (That checks one box for a Virgo, at least.) But does it meet Virgo’s long list of other requirements? We think so. It’s also amazingly discreet. If you saw The Maude on Virgo’s bedside, you might think it’s a post-modern lamp. Check, check and check.

The lion of the zodiac loves to make sex fun. They also aren’t trying to hide anything. (A vibrator disguised as a tube of lipstick? No, thanks.) Offering four different speeds, six vibration patterns and two vibrant shades, you wouldn’t find it in a drawer and think, “Huh, what is that?”

The Pisces’ sex drive is through the roof, but it’s deeply rooted in connection. And the Eva II from Dame meets those needs—no partner necessary. The vibrator’s flexible wings nestle in the contours of your body, providing “blissful, whisper-quiet vibration.” Better yet, you can even use it in the bath, which we all know this water sign loves. It’s not a real-life sex partner, but this gadget is just the companion a Pisces needs for a solo adventure.

Eccentric and independent Aquarius needs a more unique vibrator to reach their climax. This clitoral stimulator is waterproof and its shape allows you to control the vibration with your own hand movements. For a sign who hates to feel constrained, the LELO SILA lets the Aquarius freak flag fly no matter where they are.

Simply put, this vibrator from Smile Makers is one of the most cost-effective options out there. And after running the numbers, any Capricorn would agree that this classic toy with a twist is a safe, sturdy and smart investment. Multifunctional (it can be used internally and externally), compact and discreet, the versatile and waterproof design will go the distance for the goat.

The always on-the-go Sagittarius is a flirt who loves a fling and can’t get enough variety. The LELO TIANI 2 allows you to have internal and external vibration, while your partner handles the speed and intensity with the remote (talk about sexy).