Dammit, rom-coms: You’ve managed to make us believe that even if troubled dreamboat Johnny is brooding and irritable in scene one, our warm and bubbly charm will rub off on him by scene three. Cue “happily ever after,” right?
Wrong. Turns out people in relationships actually cannot change each other over time, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
When researchers at Wellesley College and the University of Kansas examined early moments of relationships--romantic or otherwise--they found that having a shared connection at the outset of conversation is what sets up future interactions. Contrary to popular-movies belief, it’s not a disagreement (or having zero things in common) that ignites the flame.
If you think about it, it makes sense: When two strangers meet, things are awkward. That is, until they discover a mutual love for running, Labradoodles, Renaissance fairs, whatever. That’s when things pick up steam.
Now, this doesn’t mean it’s discouraged to date/marry/have babies with someone who’s not your exact clone. Just maybe don’t go in thinking you can turn around Johnny Hotshot.