Stress happens. On days when you’re thisclose to punching your boss, your significant other, any warm body that passes you at Target, it helps to know how to properly wind down. We thought of, oh, 31 ways.
1. Take a yoga class.
2. Remember that pigeon pose is the f@&#ing worst and decide to take a boxing class next time.
3. Go home and have a glass of wine.
4. Have two glasses of wine.
5. Have enough glasses of wine that you think it’s a good idea to check up on all of your exes on Facebook and immediately regret it.
7. After 30 seconds, wonder if you’ve mastered meditation yet.
8. Wait 20 more seconds and realize you haven’t.
9. Quit meditation and open another bottle of wine.
10. Decide to cook a nice dinner.
11. Get frustrated when the recipe you picked is too complicated...and you don’t have all the ingredients...and what the hell is a mirepoix anyway...and oh screw it, you're just going to finish the bottle of wine that was supposed to become the sauce.
12. Order Thai food.
13. Watch a fluffy romantic comedy.
14. Lament that lack of good post-'90s romantic comedies.
15. Switch to cable.
16. While catching up on Empire, research how to make a voodoo doll, and then make one in the shape of DAVE WHO NEVER REMEMBERS TO REFILL THE KEURIG WATER.
18. Visualize yourself in a stress-free scenario.
19. Visualize yourself in a stress-free scenario in which you’re married to Benedict Cumberbatch and he’s just as charming and funny and supportive as he seems in interviews.
20. Listen to soothing music.
21. Wonder if Benedict Cumberbatch likes soothing music.
22. Watch a viral video.
23. Fall down a YouTube rabbit hole of viral videos and only come out after watching an all-cat reenactment of the British Office.
24. Take a long, hot bath.
25. Do a face mask.
26. Take a selfie with your face mask on and Instagram it.
27. Obsessively check Instagram to see how many likes your face mask photo is getting.
28. Realize that constantly checking likes is stressing you out more and stop.
29. Brew a cup of hot tea.
30. Check Instagram one more time.
31. Fall into a Benedict-Cumberbatch-obsessively-liking-all-your-Instagrams-addled dream state.