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5 Questions for Mr. Know-It-All

Our best friend was on vacation. Our sister told us not to bother her while she’s at work. And our mom, well, texting isn't exactly her thing.

But we had some pretty weighty issues on our mind, and we needed answers. Now.

So we downloaded Ethan, an app run by a guy supposedly named Ethan--and that’s the only thing anyone knows about him--who has answered hundreds of thousands of questions texted to him by complete strangers. (Now he’s even enlisting helpers.)

Whoever he is, the guy is an advice machine. We test-drove the app by asking five burning questions and got the following responses in two minutes flat:

PW: Cord-cutter dilemma: to pay or not to pay for the new season of Downton Abbey?
Ethan: You mean vs. Torrent?
PW: Um, what is Torrent?
Ethan: You can download all movies and TV shows on Torrent for free. No need for Netflix, yo.
PW thinks: Wow. We just got schooled by Ethan.

PW: My mother-in-law’s visiting this weekend. She’s a homebody and I get cabin fever. What should I do?
Ethan: You could convince her to go out together. If she doesn’t, tickle her till she says yes.
PW thinks: Definitely a tactic we’d never considered.

PW: How much should I spend on a new winter coat? Brrr.
Ethan: I think not much ’cause winter’s almost over right?
PW thinks: Ethan clearly does not live in Chicago.

PW: Winter getaway: Big Sur or Tortola?
Ethan: I haven’t been to either so I can’t really answer.
PW thinks: Come on, Ethan! Guess we’ll ask this app instead.

PW: Getting a mani-pedi. Quick: Classic red or glittery silver?
Ethan: You should ask @HowDoILook. I prefer red but if you send a pic you’ll get an answer about what looks better.
PW thinks: Now that’s service.

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