Selina (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) travels to Qatar to attend a crown prince’s funeral and has an awkward run in with the Chinese president (Tzi Ma). He pretends he doesn't speak English to avoid confronting the whole Tibet issue. (Remember when President Montez got credit for freeing Tibet instead of Selina?) Selina also runs into the handsome Qatari ambassador, Jaffar (Usman Ally), at the funeral. They engage in a brief flirt session. Once it's over, several funeral attendees ask Selina for a photo and just at the last second, a Sudanese warlord slides into the frame uninvited. Whoopsies.
Back in New York, Catherine (Sarah Sutherland) and Marjorie (Clea DuVall) Skype Selina to tell her...they’re pregnant! Before they can share the news, Selina tells Catherine the connection must be bad because Catherine’s voice sounds whiney. "Nope, just my voice," she tries to say. What should have been a sweet moment is then further interrupted by Amy's (Anna Chlumsky) announcement that the photo Selina accidentally took with a Sudanese warlord is all over the news. Double whoopsies.
Richard (Sam Richardson) decides the opposite of a warlord is a peace lady, so the team performs a five-minute Google search for a “peace lady” and settles on an African feminist figure named Nyaring (Nicki Micheaux). Selina hops back on a plane and off to Africa she goes.
On their walk to Nyaring's home, Gary (Tony Hale) says he has some exciting news: Selina is just like Princess Di because she’s walking through landmines. She tells Gary he should walk ahead of her then. Selina has an awkward, but overall positive photo op and cup of tea with Nyaring. After, Selina learns that she's unable to get out of Africa because, according to Richard, there are three "little animal(s) that Nathan Lane plays in the Lion King" (i.e., meerkats) stuck in the engine of her private jet. She calls upon Jaffar to send his plane for her.
Selina and Jaffar share a sexy dinner that ends in an adult slumber party at his palace. He tells her the Chinese and Sudanese are interested in brokering a trade deal. They relax on Jaffar’s yacht and wait for the Chinese president. When he arrives, he magically speaks English again. Huzzah! They agree to ink a deal that will not only line Selina's pockets handsomely, but will also give her the credit for Tibet. Win-win. But before she can raise her fists in victory, Selina sees President Montez on television meeting with Nyaring. Seriously? There’s criticism the president didn’t discuss women’s issues as openly as she should have during her meeting with Nyaring so Selina takes this as her opportunity to one up POTUS. She asks Jaffar for his plane again and heads back to Africa to champion women’s rights. She’s even set to deliver an address at a conference on human rights.
Selina has her meeting with Nyaring, speaks out against "rapers" and arrives at the conference for her speech. Just one little problem; Jaffar tells her the conference is sponsored by the Sudanese warlord she got photobombed by, and she’ll need to completely alter her speech in favor of female genital mutilation. In the most unbearable speech ever televised, Selina uncomfortably says, “I’m sure you have your reasons” for carrying out female circumcision. This is a new low, even for her.
Not low enough, apparently. The Sudanese warlord breaks off the deal because he doesn’t think Selina was enthusiastic enough about his, erm, practices. On top of that, Jaffar ends things with Selina because his dad saw photos of them together in the Daily Mail and was not pleased by Selina’s ethnicity. He also thought she might be Jewish, which he wasn’t cool with. At the very least, Selina is relieved the breakup had nothing to do with her age.
In other news, Jonah Ryan (Timothy Simons) is on the up and up. He now has a group of “pals” in Congress who will vote the way he instructs. He names them “The Jeffersons” and says they’re moving on up. Groan. Later, when Roger Furlong (Dan Bakkedahl) asks him to vote his way, Jonah insists he be invited to dinner at the Furlong residence. When Furlong says no because the Mrs. insists all guests are married, Shawnee (Mary Holland) conveniently arrives and says she and Jonah are now engaged. Shawnee pulls Jonah aside and informs him there’s a ring on hold at Tiffany’s already paid in full. So romantic. The couple later dines at the Furlongs', and Jonah, by way of Shawnee’s cunning orchestration, even snags a better office.
Back in Dan (Reid Scott) land, he’s decided to complain to HR that Jane is sexually harassing him as a ploy to get her fired. He is ultimately victorious and the name of his show changes to CBS: This Morning with Danny Egan. Mazel tov.
Until next week...