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As I’m watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, I can’t help but wonder what really goes down to make the reality show magic, well, a reality. (You know, like how the producers make it seem perfectly normal for the contestants to stumble on a hot tub oasis in the middle of nowhere.)

In honor of Colton Underwood’s upcoming season of The Bachelor, which premieres on January 7 on ABC, keep reading for eight thoughts everyone has while watching the series.

chris harrison bachelor host
ABC/Paul Hebert

“If he says ‘dramatic' one more time...”

If I had a quarter for every time Chris Harrison said, “the most dramatic season ever,” I’d be one rich lady.

final rose the bachelor
ABC/Paul Hebert

“Who's in charge of delivering the date cards/roses?”

And how do we apply for that position?

disgusted bachelor twins

“The Bachelor mansion could use a serious makeover.”

Your move, Chip and Jo.

becca kufrin kissing garrett
ABC/Paul Hebert

“Do they ever eat?”

They never touch their meals. Do the math.

bachelor horse stepping on dress

“The producers must be loving this.”

A horse-drawn carriage followed by a round at the shooting range? Clever.

bachelor hot tub

“Where did that hot tub come from?”

No, really. Asking for a friend…

colton underwood contestants the bachelor
ABC/Craig Sjodin

“Those suitcases must be massive.”

Because there’s no way each girl randomly packed eight floor-length gowns, ten cocktail dresses and a few casual options. (You know, for day dates.)

bachelor contestants cheers
ABC/Paul Hebert

“Does the bartender ever stop pouring alcohol?”

Answer: No. 

RELATED: Meet the 30 (!) Women Vying for Colton Underwood’s ‘Bachelor’ Rose

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