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*Warning: Spoilers ahead*

Season two, episode nine of This Is Us, titled “Number Two,” opens with a continuation of the footage from baby Kevin’s first steps, but this time it’s all about baby Kate.

This Is Us season 2 episode 9 recap teenage Kate
Maarten de Boer/NBC

The episode begins with teenage Kate (Hannah Zeile) listening to her Walkman when the power goes out. She heads downstairs to find a frantic Rebecca (Mandy Moore) putting the finishing touches on a cake as they prepare for the University of Pittsburgh coach to arrive...again.

As they prep for Kevin’s (Logan Shroyer) big college moment, Rebecca questions Kate about her post-high school plans. Rebecca explains that she doesn’t want Kate to put all of her eggs in one basket and offers to sit down with her so they can look through potential colleges. Kate, an angsty teenager, couldn’t care less.

Later on, Rebecca approaches Kate and explains she realizes she’s not being completely fair about college. Rebecca says it’s OK that Kate doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life, despite the fact that both of her brothers seem to know what they want. But when Rebecca tells Kate she needs to try new things and find her passion, Kate misinterprets her words as implying she’s passionless and storms out of the room. Rebecca shuffles through papers on Kate’s desk and comes across a completed application for Berklee School of Music along with a flawless demo tape. 

At Kevin’s football game, Kate and Rebecca are sitting in the stands when Rebecca offers her money for the application. Although Kate is upset her mom went through her things, she seems pleased that Rebecca is open to the idea of music school. Right on cue, Kevin goes down.

That night at the hospital, Kate apologizes for not telling her mom about Berklee. She explains that she’d be crushed if she didn’t get in and, therefore, didn’t want to tell her parents and have them be disappointed, too. Rebecca reassures her that wouldn’t happen and opens up about her own surface-level relationship with her mother, explaining she wants her bond with Kate to be different. She says, “It’s my job to keep standing there with my arms wide open waiting for you to, maybe, someday fall inside if you needed it. And if you do, I’ll love you. And if you don’t, I’ll love you too. Because that’s what it means to be a parent. You’ll see one day.” 

This Is Us season 2 episode 9 recap Toby Kate
Ron Batzdorff/NBC

In present-day, Kate (Chrissy Metz) is loading up on her prenatal vitamins as she talks—and sings—to her unborn child. Kate has yet to learn she lost the baby at this point.

Kate is writing out a list of questions to ask her doctor at her next appointment when Toby (Chris Sullivan) enters the room. Kate tells him that she wants to write everything out so she doesn’t blank per usual. But when she excuses herself to the bathroom, we hear a series of loud noises followed by a worried “Toby!” shout.

Cut to Kate and Toby in an emotional turmoil at the hospital. They’re listening to a doctor’s instructions on how to deal with Kate’s miscarriage and when they can eventually try for a baby again. And now we’re hideously crying, snot and all.

The next day, Kate is getting ready for a lunch gig. Toby, who couldn’t be more confused, admits he thought she would have canceled the event, considering they just lost the baby 12 hours ago. He explains that it’s far too soon to be acting like nothing happened, but Kate insists she has to go to work. Toby tells her he’ll pick her up after the show.

At Kate’s gig, things seem to be going well until a mother-daughter duo hits the dance floor, forcing Kate to run off the stage to avoid a public breakdown.

Meanwhile, Toby visits a package-sorting center to intercept the baby bath Kate purchased prior to the miscarriage. When the package is finally located, Toby gifts it to a delivery man whose sister is pregnant.

Back at Toby and Kate’s apartment, Kate receives a call from Rebecca, who is concerned that Kate hasn’t returned any of her phone calls. Kate breaks the baby news and promptly hangs up just as an angry Toby walks through the door.Toby asks Kate why she didn’t call him and says he was driving around like a worried lunatic looking for her.

Kate, who is an emotional wreck, turns the conversation around and blames Toby for getting her hopes up. She explains that she didn’t want to be hopeful until she knew the baby was healthy, but he forced the excitement upon her. Toby responds by saying that she needs to understand that he’s hurt, too, even if it didn’t happen to his body. *Grabs tissues...again*

While Toby leaves to get some air, Kate answers the door to find a tearful Rebecca, who pulls her daughter in for a long hug. Kate says she’s devastated that she’ll never be able to hold the baby, which prompts Rebecca to dive into a story about the Big Three’s delivery and encourages Kate to talk to Toby. She explains that she refused to hold late baby Kyle because she thought it would lessen the pain. However, over time she realized that holding in her emotions wasn’t helping, it was hurting, and it wasn’t until she came clean to Jack about her feelings that she was able to move on.

Suddenly, Toby enters the room. Rebecca excuses herself, and Toby takes a seat next to Kate. Kate explains that she feels like she failed him, but he reassures her that’s not the case. Kate says she wants to try again—not now, but soon—and they promise not to let this break them. And again with the tears.

The episode concludes with the footage panning from baby Kate to baby Randall.

Two down, one to go. Deep breaths.

RELATED: ‘This Is Us’ Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Kevin Is Long Past His Prime

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