Oscar season, man. Is it just me, or is 2019 turning out to be a capital-H Hot mess?
It's bad enough that Ethan Hawke was snubbed for Best Actor. Don't even get me started on Bradley "Fake Tan" Cooper. And if Olivia Colman doesn't win...so help me God. All I'm saying is, my mood about Sunday's show can be best described by that time Jennifer Lawrence fell onstage.
While we're on the subject of airing grievances, I've come up with my own list of suggestions for the people running the show. Consider it my 95 Theses for the Academy execs. Three easy-peasy things that would make the whole show, well...Oscar-worthy. Behold.