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A little common-sense etiquette goes a long way at the office--and it could affect whether you get a raise, a promotion or even just a new work buddy. Here, the 18 phrases you should never utter while on the clock:


1. “Guh. I’m so hungover.”
Just say you’ve got a cold, OK?

2. “Hey, can you proofread my résumé?”
Surely you have trusted pals outside the office.

3. "How much do you think Melissa makes?”
Salary talk is between you and your boss. Period.

4. “I heard Melissa’s getting fired.”
Just say no to unfounded rumors.

5. “I heard Melissa really isn’t coming back after maternity leave.” 
Just say no to pregnancy discrimination.

6. “I can’t believe you’re eating that.”
Don’t shame a co-worker for giving in to the stale cupcake in the conference room.


7. "Got a sec?”
And don’t interrupt her when she’s done with her cupcake and ready to get back to work.

8. "That was my assistant’s fault.”
As her manager, it’s your job to take responsibility.

9. "You bringing anyone to Steve’s barbecue?”
Did Steve for sure invite everyone?


10. "This place is a joke.”
You know what else is a joke? That promotion you’ve been gunning for.

11. "I’m too good for this.”
We’re sure your mom would agree. Probably no one else.

12. "I’m too old for this.”
Do you know how to operate a computer? Good, then you can figure out the new CMS interface.


13. "Nothing personal.”
Except you're talking to a person.

14. "Goddamn, mother-f*&#@-er!”
Yes, some offices are more obscenity-filled than others. But on the whole, lose the potty mouth.


15. "Sorry, but…”
Atone when you make an actual mistake. 

16. "I heard he sleeps with all the interns.”
Office gossip is so fun. But if you want to be a leader, you need to rise above it. 

17. "Thanks, Hon.”
Save the endearments for your poodle and respect your colleagues by using their names.

18. "Who wants popcorn?”
No one wants to hear that you're about to make the entire office smell like a movie theater.

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