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Got 99 problems but low cash flow ain’t one? Beyoncé and Jay-Z once rented this 31,000-square-foot vacation home in Bridgehampton, which is now available to rent for the month of July…for $1 million. But even if we can’t quite scrape up the cash this summer, we can take a free virtual tour of the 12-bedroom, 12-bathroom house.

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HERE’S THE BIRD’S-EYE VIEW

Is it weird to get a Google Maps screenshot mounted and framed?

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AND THIS IS THE MASTER BEDROOM...

Oh wait, just kidding! That’s one of the bathrooms.

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THIS IS THE REAL MASTER BEDROOM

Apparently Queen Bey and Marie Antoinette have the same style.

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YOU GET YOUR OWN PRIVATE SPA

The Seawater Spa at Gurney's is nice and everything, but do you know what’s even better? Staying home.

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THIS COULD BE YOUR LIVING ROOM

Good news: If you get chocolate ice cream stains on the white couch, there are still two others to sit on.

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...AND THIS IS CLEARLY JAY-Z’S MAN CAVE

Indecisive? No problem.

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ALSO, THERE’S AN INDOOR SKATE PARK

The only place in the Hamptons (well, that we know of) with a half-pipe.

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YOU COULD LOUNGE BY THIS POOL

And if you have friends over, there’s a whole guesthouse just for them.

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THIS IS YOUR OFFICE

Looks like a great place to figure out how to pay off $1 million in credit-card debt.

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AND HERE’S YOUR (REALLY, REALLY HUGE) EAT-IN KITCHEN

Hmm, we wonder if the kitchen comes with Marco Borges...

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HANG OUT IN THE SCREENING ROOM

Wait, were Bey and Jay-Z watching Free Willy?

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AND PLAY A FEW FRAMES IN THE BOWLING ALLEY

Do you think Bey wears heels when she bowls?

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FANCY A GAME OF TENNIS?

Or just hang out in the veranda and watch.

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AND FINALLY, THE SITTING ROOM

Just kidding. It’s another bathroom.

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